Monday, April 24, 2006 

We've Moved

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Monday Musings

I'm having some major technical issues with the new site, so I thought I'd go ahead and put up the musings here on the old site, and I'll let you know when the kinks are worked out. So, here goes:

I watched so much NBA Playoff basketball that by the time the Mavs tipped off last night, I wasn't really sure where I was any more. My head was spinning, and my back was aching from not giving off the love seat for two days, but it was worth it. In the course of this marathon of hoops, I a lot of thoughts, but the most important were these:

1) Lebron is scary good. If you aren't paying attention to the Lebron experience, you need to start. He's 21 and he's throwing up monster triple doubles in the playoffs? At no point in my life up until Saturday did I think such a thing is possible. There is no limit to the heights this guy can take his game. None. He's bigger, quicker, and more skilled than almost anybody in the league. And again, he's 21.

2) Kobe played horrifically and the Lakers were in the game until the final seconds! Uh-oh Phoenix. Who knows? Maybe Phoenix will sweep the Lakers, but if you told me that Kobe would struggle his way to 22 yesterday, I would have guessed the Suns would have won by a minimum of 20 points. Sure, they got the win, but I imagine they are more than just a little nervous about what Kobe is going to unleash on them in Game 2. You can only hold the Mamba at bay for so long.

3) If you ever wanted to know why it wasn't a good idea to give the defending NBA Champions bulletin board material heading into a playoff series, well, give Ron Artest a call. He should be able to educate you. That being said, I'm still not sold on the Spurs. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to doing anything silly like picking them to lose before the Western Conference finals, but watching Tim Duncan drag that foot around makes me seriously question whether they have a run to the Finals in them.

4) On a different note about the Spurs, I didn't realize until it was brought up by the announcers in Saturday's game that Tim Duncan is the only remaining player from the Spurs' first Title run. Isn't it time we start putting Greg Popovich right up there with the NBA coaching elite of Phil Jackson and Larry Brown?

Okay, here are some non-NBA related thoughts:

I was stunned to learn that Reggie Bush's family may have been living in a $750,000 house last year that was purchased in some form by a sports agency. I mean, a superstar college athlete getting some perks from a sports agent? Who has ever heard of such a thing?

The Wendy's triple cheeseburger might just be the perfect cheeseburger. Tons of beef, hot melted cheese, and those great Wendy's pickles. Just doesn't getter any better than that. Sure, no human being, especially me, has no business eating that much food at one time, but sometimes you just got to man up.

I watched "The Godfather" again for the first time in a few years this weekend, bringing my total viewings somewhere close to triple digits. Needless to say, "The Godfather" is my favorite movie of all time, followed closely by "The Godfather II". However, no matter how many times I watch the movie, I still find myself in complete shock and disbelief when Sonny gets gunned down at the toll booth. I don't know what it is, but this scene always leaves me speechless. I mean, how could Carlo, as despicable as he was, ever have betrayed the family like this? How could he have thought this would end well? I often think about what would have become of Michael had Sonny not been killed. Would Michael have been able to live a normal life outside the family business, or was he already in too deep after killing Sollozzo and McCluskey? These are the things I think about!

Friday, April 21, 2006 

Television Friday?

It’s been a long week, and I haven’t even had a chance to weigh in on the latest developments in my favorite television shows. It’s Friday, however, and I know you are expecting a preview of the big sporting events coming up this weekend. Well, even though the NBA playoffs start this weekend, I’m not going to pretend that you are interested in the first round of the NBA playoffs. I guess there are some passions we just don’t share. Don’t get too comfortable though. You won’t be so lucky as the playoffs grind on. At any rate, other than the NBA Playoffs, there just isn’t much compelling about this weekend’s sports action. And, considering that I finally had a chance to catch up on my t.v. watching, I see no choice but to turn this into Television Friday. Doesn’t quite have the same ring as Television Tuesday, but it’s going to have to do.

“The Sopranos”

This might make me a bad person, and it certainly makes me politically incorrect, but it’s got to be said: this storyline revolving around Vito’s homosexuality is hilarious. I mean, some of the comments (which are better not repeated here) made in this past week’s episode were priceless. Hell, Carmella used a few words I’ve never heard of. And, Tony’s session with Dr. Melfi was unbelievable. When he essentially broke into song, I was close to coughing up a lung. Only on “The Sopranos” can such drama unfold with such a sense of comedy. Just another example of why we’ve never seen another show like this one, and we probably never will again. Will Vito get whacked? Will Tony forbid it and incense Paulie and all the Captains in the process? Is this the start of the great conflict everybody is waiting for?


Hans warned me that at some point in viewing this week’s episode that I would ask myself, “what the f**k is Jack doing?” Well, he was right. I’m still so enraged, shocked, and utterly confused that Jack gave up the recording to save Audrey’s life that I can’t even string together any rational thoughts about it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Jack is still the biggest bad ass in the history of television, but he’s just getting a little too soft. The old Jack would have sat there and watched Audrey bleed to death before he gave up that recording. I miss the old Jack. Only six more hours for Jack to expose Logan, capture Henderson, save Secretary Heller’s job, save Audrey’s life and profess his undying love for her, find and save Aaron Pierce; and surely he will have to deal with the Chinese government at some point. Impossible for a mere mortal, but Jack should be able to do this all without breaking a sweat. As long as he saves time to hang out with his daughter, I’ll be happy.

“The O.C.”

I only bring up “The O.C.” to say that I’m done. It’s over. I just can’t take any more. I spent an entire season dealing with the most ridiculous case of substance abuse on television since Jessie Spano’s addiction to speed, and I’m not about to deal with it again. The moment Kirsten put that glass of wine to her lips, I jumped overboard. I’m not happy about this. This show has brought me a lot of great times, but it’s the end of the road. The juice is no longer worth the squeeze. I, of course, reserve the right to change my mind next Thursday. Anybody want to put odds on that one?

Thursday, April 20, 2006 

Caption Contest

sorry for the late posting. Have fun.


Home Sweet Home

After three very long days on the road, I just got back home. Nothing like a two hour delay at a terrible airport followed by a flight through a lightning storm to unwind after three days of stress. Let's just say that my flight would have been rough on somebody that likes to fly much less someone like me that despises flying. I had planned on knocking out a new column for today, but because I haven't read a newspaper or watched t.v. in the past three days, I just don't have much to say. I do, however, love the idea proposed by Stats yesterday that I become the new White House press secretary. I just don't see how this couldn't be a good things. I mean, is there any body else you can think of that would make White House press briefings "must see t.v."? On that note, here are the seven rules I would implement as White House press secretary:

7. Nobody, I mean nobody, from the New York Times would ever be allowed on the White House grounds.

6. Sports Illustrated, ESPN The Magazine, and The Covington News would be given permanent seats in the White House Press Room.

5. Every briefing between now and the NFL Draft would include a report of Mel Kiper's updated Big Board.

4. Any mention of Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, John Kerry, or Ted Kennedy would result in a permanent ban from the Press Room.

3. Every Tuesday briefing would include a detailed report on "24", "The Sopranos", and "The Bachelor".

2. I would answer all questions using my Stephen A. Smith voice.

1. Every member of the Press Corp. would be required to read The WAD.

Okay, that's all I can muster right now, but I promise to have fresh stuff tomorrow. Till then, feel free to propose some rules you think I should implement in my new job as White House Press Secretary.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 

One More Day...

My apologies for another day without a new column. No, I haven't been abducted by Vito, and there is no truth to the rumor that I am being tortured by Jack Bauer. Just a bunch of work and very little sleep this week. I did manage to hear that A.I. and Chris Webber both showed up after the tip last night. That's tremendous. Things seem to be going very well in Philly this year. Maybe the Sixers should sign T.O. to turn things around? At any rate, talk amongst yourselves for one more day, and I'll be back on Thursday.

Monday, April 17, 2006 

Monday Musings

Two things before I get to a few musings from the Easter weekend gone by. First, as of next Monday the url for The WAD is changing. We’re moving the site over to Not to worry, however, if you forget about the change and still come to this site, there will be a link to the new site. I know change can be tough, but just hang in there. The WAD will be a better place for it. Second, I’m on the road this week, but I’m going to do my best to have fresh material each day. If I miss a day, however, get over it! I’m not a machine. Of course, I’m kidding….I am a machine. An old rusty broken down machine, but a machine nonetheless. Well, enough beating around the bush, here’s what’s on my mind:

  • Albert Pujols is the best player in baseball. Yea, I said it. Seriously, his three dongs (capped off with the game winner) on Sunday are just further proof of what this guy is all about. Unlike A-Rod, who seems to hit the majority of his homers when the Yankees are up $80 million…uh…I mean, 7 runs on their opponents, Pujols hits big homers at big times. And yes, he’s on my fantasy team so I’m flagrantly biased.

  • Kobe went for 43 and clinched the Lakers’ playoff spot yesterday. Sure, I think Lebron is the M.V.P., but I think Phil Jackson is the undisputed Coach of the Year. What Phil has accomplished this season, with a lot of help from Kobe, is UNBELIEVABLE. Just think about this: the Lakers have won 44 games and the four guys they put on the court with Bryant on Sunday were Luke Walton, Smush Parker, Kwame Brown, and the chronically bored and potentially stoned Lamar Odom. Sure, he’s not going to win his 10th ring, but he’s never done a better coaching job. Never!

  • Stats sent me an email nominating the Orlando Magic as Men of the Week. While I wasn’t willing to go that far, the Magic do deserve some props. They’ve won 12 of their last 13 and made an amazing playoff push. While they aren’t making the post-season this year, the way they finished the season has put the Magic back on the map. Consider that they have Dwight Howard and Jameer Nelson under contract through 2008, and Darko is under contract through next year with a $6 million qualifying offer in ’08 (according to Then consider that Penny Hardaway and Doug Christie come off the books after this year and Grant Hill after next year. So, there are pieces in place, and cap space is on the near horizon. In short, as long as G.M. Dave Twardzik doesn’t call Isiah Thomas for advice, Orlando has a chance to be a power in a hurry.

  • Speaking of the Knicks, they got bombed again on Sunday. So, with two games left they’ve got 22 wins. For those of you scoring at home, that’s about $5,619,888.00 per win. When you look at it like that you almost feel sorry for Knicks’ fans…almost!

  • The Braves gave up 4 runs in the 7th and 8th innings Sunday to blow a 3 run lead and fall to 6-7. In the meantime, the Mets slugged out 9 more runs and cruised to a franchise best 9-2. Shortly thereafter, I decided to cap off a perfect day by ripping my toenails off one by one.

  • Only 12 more days until the NFL draft. The over/under on stories about the Jets trading up with the Saints to take Matt Leinart is somewhere just shy of 2.6 billion. By the way, why are the Jets so high on Leinart? I mean, don’t they still have Chad Pennington? Isn’t one rag arm enough for an NFL team? To be completely honest, I hope I’m wrong about Leinart’s arm. I hope he has a long and successful career in New York. If he goes to New York and becomes a star, we are going to get to read endless stories about him and Lachey running rough shot over both coasts. That’s fun for the whole family.

  • She’s not there yet, but I get the feeling Jamie Lynn Sigler is going to find her way into The WAD’s top 5 by the end of this season of “The Sopranos”. I understand that she’s not necessarily top 5 material, but sometimes love defies explanation. Did I say love? Okay, I’m going to stop before I get served with the restraining order.

Friday, April 14, 2006 

D. Wade vs. King James

I don’t know if I was more excited to hear that Jeffrey Maier is now the all time hit leader at Wesleyan College (not the girls’ school in Macon), that Ed Nelson is leaving UConn early for the NFL (no, that’s not a typo!), or that Theresa is finally returning to The O.C. next Wednesday night with Ryan’s baby? As soon as I figure it out, I’ll let you know. As we stare into this weekend, we are faced with the stark reality that there are simply no compelling sporting events this weekend. While this is horrifying on several levels, it might actually be a good thing. We can take this weekend to catch our breath, stuff ourselves on Easter dinner, and get revved up for the NBA Playoffs. That’s right folks, the next big event on the calendar is the two month odyssey known as the NBA Playoffs. As I said yesterday, if you aren’t excited, it’s time to get yourself fired up. The NBA is back, and this post-season promises to be electrifying. In an attempt to get you excited, I’m taking a minute today to give you a quick break down of one of the most compelling MVP races in recent memory. Last year’s MVP vote was the fourth closest ever, and this year is almost certain to be closer.

The biggest reason this vote is certain to be close is that there are so many worthy candidates. For example, it’s not hard to make a case for Elton Brand, Dirk, Artest (yes, even in half a season!), Kobe, A.I., and last year’s winner, Steve Nash. While all these guys have meant a tremendous amount to their teams, I think the race comes down to the two guys I’ve started collectively referring to as “The Future.” I, of course, am referring to D. Wade and King James. Before I give you my choice, let’s take a look at their credentials:

D. Wade
Look at these numbers: 27.5 pts/game, 5.8 boards, 6.8 assists, 3.5 T.O.’s, and he’s shooting 49.7% from the field. I can’t remember a guard putting up numbers like this, especially the shooting percentage, since, well, M.J. No, I’m not saying D. Wade is M.J., but I’m saying that he’s pretty amazing. Aside from just the numbers, when you talk about Wade you have to talk about the intangibles. Nobody plays harder than this guy. On a night in, night out basis he busts his ass harder than anybody else in the league, with the possible exception of A.I. Not to mention, very few guys, if any, make their team better when they are on the floor than Wade. Don’t believe me? Well, take a peak at (one of the best sites on the web for hoops junkies), and you will find that when Wade is on the floor, the Heat are outscoring their opponents by an average of 8 points. In the minutes he’s off the floor, the Heat score an average of 7.8 points LESS than their opponents. For all you math whizzes, that’s a difference of 15.8 points when Wade is on the floor and when he’s on the bench. Any questions?

If Wade’s numbers are sick, Lebron’s are down right frightening: 31.6 pts/game, 6.6 assists, 7.1 rebounds, 3.3 T.O.’s, and 48% from the field. Unbelievable. Listen, there’s nothing I can say about Lebron that hasn’t already been said. All I will say is that when God created Lebron, he created the perfect combination of Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson. No need to read that sentence again, it says what you think it says. The truth is that I’m scared of Lebron. Why am I scared? I’m scared because he might be so good that one day I have to admit that he is better than M.J. and is in fact the greatest player of all time. We certainly aren’t there yet, but I’m already interviewing therapist to help me deal with this if it happens.

And The MVP Is…..

Lebron. I love D. Wade, and I love Lebron. By picking on one, I feel like I’m cheating on the other, but somebody’s got to win. After breaking down their credentials, and trying to find someway to distinguish between these guys, my decision comes down to one thing, and one thing only: Wade and the Heat are second in the Eastern Conference and he gets to play with Shaq in the middle. Lebron and the Cavs are third in the Eastern Conference and he gets to play with Zydrunas Ilgauskas in the middle! Advantage Lebron. At the end of the day, however, the real question is whether either of these young stars will be playing well into June. Well, we start learning the answer as the playoffs get underway next week. Rest up this weekend so you’ll be able to keep up.

So, that's another week in the books. I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Easter and Passover, and I'll see you again on Monday. Till then...

Thursday, April 13, 2006 

Caption Contest

I don't even know where to begin! Have fun.


Hot Routes

After a several week hiatus, the defense has come out of the Cover 2 and is bringing the blitz. So, it looks like we’ve got to throw some hot routes:

1) The NBA is fantastic! Seriously, in case you hadn’t noticed, and based on the usual comments about the NBA here on The WAD, you haven’t, the NBA is as good as it has been since the Bulls second rampage in the ’96, ’97, and ’98 seasons. With an amazing MVP race between D. Wade, Lebron, Dirk, Chauncey Billups, and defending MVP, Steve Nash coming right down to the wire, the star power in the league is through the roof. Seriously, this race is captivating. For my money, it should come down to Lebron or D. Wade. I won’t bore you with the details, but I would encourage you to go take a look at their stats, and I promise you that you will have to look twice. They are both putting up Jordanesque type numbers. The story, however, doesn’t end with the stars. All the old complaints about the style of play and lack of offense in the league are now moot. Six NBA teams average more than 100 points per game, and every team in the league, except the woeful Trail Blazers, averages more than 90 points a night, and no team in the league is shooting under 44%. If you are still shaking your head at the deplorable quality of basketball you witnessed in the NCAA tournament, and you are wondering where all the great young talent is playing these days, take in an NBA game or two. You should find what you are looking for.

2) So, I’m watching PTI yesterday, and Kornheiser informs me that the Texans are now entertaining the thought of taking N.C. State defensive end Mario Williams with the first pick in the draft. I almost hyperventilated I was laughing so hard. In the weeks leading up to the draft, NFL GM’s never cease to amuse me. If the Texans think for one minute that anybody believes they are going to take anybody other than Reggie Bush, they are out of their collective f***ing minds! After his college career, everybody considered Reggie a mortal lock for the first pick. Then, he went and put together one of the most impressive workouts any NFL scout has ever seen. Now, in an attempt to boost the stock of Williams and try to lure some other team in need of a DE into giving away the franchise to get their hands on Williams, the Texans are actually trying to pretend that their draft board goes more than one deep! PUHLEASE! Somebody needs to tell them that unless Isiah Thomas is now running the Jets, this little game is a waste of valuable time on PTI. That being said, if the Texans decide to let Isiah or Elgin Baylor run their draft, and they take someone other than Reggie, their season ticket holders should burn down the stadium first and ask questions later.

3) So, I was pretty bored last night, and Wednesday night t.v. sucks, so I decided to sign up for Party Poker and spend some time with complete strangers on the internet. What a bad idea! I’ve never been so bored gambling in my life. I didn’t even know it was possible. I jumped around from a $1/2 table to a $3/6, back to a $2/4 until I was so bored that I just decided to play a few hands of $5/10 to either make a lot of money quickly or lose it all quickly so I could be put out of my misery. Well, needless to say, I was out of my misery in a hurry. On the bright side, I’ve finally found a form of gambling that I don’t find addictive. So, I guess the night wasn’t a complete loss.

4) Check back this afternoon for the caption contest. I’ll give you a hint about today’s photo(which was provided by loyal reader, Shalls): He may be the Masters Champion, but The WAD Man of the Week isn’t going to be immune from the wrath of Fite. This could, however, be the week that Fite gets dethroned, because you should have no shortage of material with this picture! How’s that for a tease?

5) Finally, allow me to once again shamelessly plug The WAD, and encourage everyone to keep spreading the word to family, friends and co-workers. The more readers we have, the better the comments, and good comments invariably lead to more inspired column topics. In short, the more readers we have, the better place the The WAD will be. The better The WAD, the more reason you have to dick off at work. What more could you ask for?

Weekly Top 7

All-Time Top 7 Sports Movies

7) Kingpin - "The world can really kick your ass. I only have a vague recollection of when it wasn't kickin' mine" - Roy Munson

6) Caddyshack - "Don't sell yourself short Judge. You're a tremendous slouch." - Ty Webb

5) Major League - "Want me to drag him outta here, kick the shit out of him?" - Rick Vaugh

4) Eight Men Out - "Say it ain't so Joe. Say it ain't so." - Pee Wee

3) Rocky - "If I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood." - Rocky Balboa

2) The Natural - "I coulda been better. I coulda broke every record in the book." - Roy Hobbs


1) Hoosiers - "My team's on the floor!" - Coach Dale


Getting this Laker team into the playoffs is the best coaching job Phil has ever done. Now he can list "The WAD" Man of the Week right next to his 9 rings on his list of accomplishments. Is there any reason for him to keep going?

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