Tuesday, January 31, 2006 

Television Tuesday

Today marks day two of our High Fidelity Tribute Week. First of all, we are in the process of tweaking the look of The WAD, so bear with us today and things should look normal again by day's end. Also, I have to warn you up front that I’m an incredibly superstitious guy, and yesterday was an insane day. I had about six different bizarre/disappointing/frustrating/infuriating emails or phone calls and none of them involved work. That’s a single day record as far as I can remember, so if today doesn’t go better, I’m going to start wearing one brown sock and one black sock, turning my undershirt inside out, putting all my change in one pocket ala Roy McAvoy, and the Top 7’s might turn into the Top 9.5 or something…anything to break the streak. As for now, however, we’re sticking with lucky number 7. In the spirit of Television Tuesday, today’s list is the Top 7 Television Shows On The Planet. I need to clarify two things before moving on. First, I’m including shows that are currently in their off-season, as well as shows currently airing in the traditional Fall-Spring season. Second, as excited as I am to get to the list, we have some mandatory house-keeping to take care of. Specifically, we’ve got to discuss last night’s episode of “24”, and we’ve got to update the latest odds after last night’s epic “The Bachelor: Paris” episode.

What could possibly happen in an hour? Well, let’s see if I can sum it up:
Cummings sort of confesses to Logan. Logan further exposes himself as the biggest pansy to occupy the White House since Carter. Jack threatens to cut Cummings’ eyes out in the coolest interrogation scene that didn’t involve Nina Meyers. Jack promises Logan he will disappear again if he can just stick around until the nerve gas is found, and Cummings’ guy on the inside gets killed as the real terrorists steal the nerve gas and threaten to set it loose in America. Oh, and the First Lady took about 10 minutes out of my life I’m never going to get back. All together, not a bad hour at the office for Agent Bauer. Only 167 hours until the next episode. Would it kill Fox to give me two episodes a week? By the way, where is Elisha Cuthbert? I’m starting to get antsy.

“The Bachelor: Paris”
First of all, I was pretty sure that this dude Travis was a tool, then he showed up at the girl’s house wearing a do rag. Needless to say, I’m now convinced he’s a tool. Guys, unless you are the member of the Bloods or Crips, it’s a good idea to avoid the do rag. These are the little bits of wisdom you can only get on The WAD. As if the do rag wasn’t enough, he dropped that little “you are all beautiful on the inside and out” speech at the Rose Ceremony. Horrifying. Enough talk, here’s the updated odds:

Moana (20:1) - Okay, here’s the deal with Moana: she’s mysterious, she’s sexy, but the other girls have done a lot of damage to her. Travis is undoubtedly intrigued by her, but at the end of the day he’s got to be somewhat influenced by constantly hearing the other girls trash her. Not to mention that she had a near melt down to Travis at the end of the show. In the end, it looks like she’s going to be the long shot that hangs around the lead pack only to fall off the pace in the home stretch. One time at Laurel race track, I bet on a horse that reminded me a lot of Moana. His name was Uncle Jester. Let’s just say that I wouldn’t remember his name if he’d actually paid off. I hope Uncle Jester was sold to the Elmer’s factory shortly after.

Sarah From Tennessee (16:1)- She reminds me a lot of that Wisconsin team that made the Final Four back in 2000. You know, she bores you to death, but somehow she keeps hanging around. Just like those Badgers, you know there is absolutely no way this girl is going to win. If she does win, I’m calling for a full scale investigation. Let’s just say that I wouldn’t be shocked if a former Boston College basketball player was a camera man or something.

Sarah From Canada (4:1) – Well, she managed to lay low this week and not screw anything up. Oh, and by the way, she’s still really hot. She, however, is also still only 23 years old and just doesn’t seem like she’s Doctor’s girlfriend material. Oh, and don’t forget that she’s Canadian. Sure, the Blue Jays have won two World Series, but I just can’t fathom a Canadian winning “The Bachelor.” But, don’t forget that she’s hot. Did I mention that already? At 4:1 she’s the best option on the board.

Susan (1:1) – Just like Sarah the Canuck, Susan managed to lay low and fly under the radar this week. Here’s the deal, Susan is really attractive. Unlike Sarah, however, Susan is older, mature, polished, and seems to be up to the task of being a Doctor’s girlfriend. Really, at the end of the day, Susan is the only one of the last four that seems to make sense. In fact, she seems like a mortal lock, which probably means she has no chance. It’s amazing what they can do with editing!

Alright, now that we’ve gotten the mandatory tasks out of the way, let’s move on to the business of the week. Without further ado, here’s today’s Top 7:


7) “Pardon The Interruption”
Kornheiser and Wilbon are Gods among men. If you are a sports fan, PTI alone is worth getting TIVO. You will laugh uncontrollably at times, you will find yourself throwing things at the t.v. at other times, but you will always find yourself more knowledgeable about the world of sports.

6) “Grey’s Anatomy”
This show chronicles the lives of five surgical interns at a Seattle hospital and the challenges they face at work and in their personal lives. You’ve got all the elements of a great show: hot chicks, handsome dudes, sordid love affairs, great dialogue, and one morally and physically repugnant character. If you can just get past Sandra Oh’s character, Dr. Christina Yang, you will fall in love with this show.

5) “Boston Legal”
William Shatner has made a career resurgence rivaled only by Roger Clemens in Toronto. His character, Denny Crane, is transcendently funny. James Spader is so good that you almost forget that he was a B-list Bratt Packer. Julie Bowen is about a 12, and best of all, life at Crane, Poole, and Schmidt is nothing even close to real life at a law firm. How could I not be a fan.

4) “The O.C.”
Just three weeks ago, the show looked like it was on its last leg and then, out of nowhere, Kaitlin Cooper came back and the show is surging like a Kenyan in the last mile of the New York Marathon. Not to mention that Seth is developing the most humorous drug problem since Jesse Spanno got addicted to speed on “Saved By the Bell.” If we could just get Rachel Bilson back in a bikini the show would be back to its apex. I feel its best if I just stop talking now.

3) “Entourage”
Vince is a movie star, and he lives with his two best friends and his degenerate but hilarious brother. They spend their time playing video games, hanging out in clubs, and chasing beautiful women. Throw in Jeremy Pivens as Ari, and you’ve got Gold baby! Okay, that’s corny, but Ari is undoubtedly the funniest character on television. Let’s be clear about one thing, this show would NEVER work on any channel other than HBO. I mean, where else could you get lines like this gem from Ari during a therapy session with is wife: “You can have it if you want to live in Agora f***ing hills, and go to group therapy, but if you want a Beverly Hills mansion, a country club membership, and nine weeks a year in a Tuscan villa, then I'm gonna need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherf***ing Wednesday”

2) “The Sopranos”
Mark it on the calendar, March 12 marks the 7th Season premier of one of the greatest shows in television history. Since 1999, we’ve had an inside look into the mind of New Jersey mob boss Tony Soprano. Tony is constantly trying to deal with his own demons as he also attempts to keep his family and his business together. Its amazing how no matter what he does, no matter who he kills, or who he hurts, you somehow find yourself feeling sorry for Tony. I mean, he’s probably one of the biggest monsters in television or movie history, yet I’ve never met a person who doesn’t love him and root for him. There is way too much to the Sopranos for me to even begin to do it justice in this small space. Suffice it to say, the Sopranos is more than a t.v. show, it’s an experience.

1) “24”
If I ever missed an episode of “24”, I wouldn’t be able to function the next day. If I ever have a son, I fully intend on naming him Jack Bauer Dunn. (Thank God the Panthers lost so I didn’t have to live up to that Steve Smith Dunn promise!). Possibly the best thing I can say about “24” is that it couldn’t be any better even if it was on HBO. It is absolutely the only show on network television that can make that claim. I really don’t know what else to say.

Honorable Mention : “The Office” – probably the funniest show currently on television. The interaction between Michael and Dwight is nothing short of golden at times. Would have cracked the Top 7 except for the fact that it’s a sitcom, and I just couldn’t bring myself to including a sitcom. “E-Ring” – Former “Law and Order” star Benjamin Bratt does a convincing job playing an ex-Special Ops guy leading the fight against terrorism at the Pentagon. It was tough to keep something out of Hollywood that doesn’t actually promote a liberal agenda out of the Top 7. “Rescue Me” – Dennis Leary is phenomenal in this show that deals with the demons that constantly haunt an Irish N.Y.P.D. Firefighter and his incredibly dysfunctional family. “The Gauntlet” – what can I say? I never get enough of the old casts of The Real World and Road Rules. I would have been a legendary character on one of these shows. “Laguna Beach” – uh, well, who isn’t fascinated by the lives of rich high school kids living So. Cal. Who are you to judge me?

Monday, January 30, 2006 

And The First List Is...

As promised, today marks the beginning of our “High Fidelity” Tribute Week. Fortunately, however, loyal reader, gambling expert, and professional smart ass Timmy Lyden pointed out that doing a bunch of Top 10 lists wouldn’t be any more original than knocking off Cusak’s Top 5 lists. So, I’ve called an audible and decided that we are going to have a week of Top 7 lists. Why Top 7? Well, Atlanta is Mike Vick’s town, and when a guy manages to elevate himself to a cultural status that it’s akin to a capital crime to criticize him, no matter how bad he plays, he deserves some sort of props. I guess. Seriously, those of you who don’t live in Atlanta probably don’t know this, but there has never been an athlete that the local media has refused to criticize like Vick. I don’t know if Arthur Blank has threatened to put Smarty Jones’ head in the bed of anybody in the media who criticizes Vick, but the term “free pass” should be changed to the “Vick pass”. So, in honor of #7’s untouchable status, and in our my renewed effort to cover the ins and outs of the home So So Def Records, here’s this week’s first list (by the way, this will by far be the longest list of the week, so don’t worry that I’m going to bury you under 2,000 words every day):


7) Game 7 1988 Eastern Conference Semifinals, Dominique v. Bird
They certainly didn’t have the best record in team history. In fact, this Hawks team only won 50 games and finished second in their own division, but as far as I’m concerned, this was the best Hawks team ever. Led by Dominique and his torrid scoring, the Hawks soared into the second round of the playoffs where they squared off with the mighty Boston Celtics. The Celtics, of course, were led by The Legend, Larry Bird. Somehow, the Hawks pushed the Celtics to a seventh and deciding game at the storied Boston Garden. Ultimately, as Game 7 unfolded, the world was treated to one of the greatest duals between superstars in the history of the NBA. Dominique scored 47 points on 19 for 23 shooting, and Bird went for 34 points on 15 for 24 shooting. What was truly remarkable, however, was that when the season was on the line, both players scored 11 of their points in the final 5:57! In fact, Bird scored 20 of his 34 in the fourth quarter alone. Ultimately, the Celtics and the history of the Garden were too much for the Hawks as the C’s squeaked out a 118-116 victory. Even though the Hawks came up on short that day, I will never forget how much fun that game was and how proud I was to be a Dominique fan that day. Dominique may very well be the most under-appreciated player of all time. The man averaged 24.8 points/game, 7.5 rebounds/game, and shot 46.1% from the field over a 15 year career. So, I just have one question. How in the world was he not voted into the Basketball Hall of Fame on the first ballot? There is NO good explanation for this. In fact, I’m getting livid just thinking about it. Seriously, who votes on these things? Now, I’m officially incensed. Moving on.

6) November 3, 1990: #16 Georgia Tech 41-38 over #1 Virginia
UVA was ripping through its schedule behind quarterback Sean Moore, running back Terry Kirby, and All World wide receiver Herman Moore. Tech, on the other hand, was coming off a disappointing 13-13 tie the previous week in Chapel Hill. Despite the tie, however, both teams were still undefeated, and this was arguably the biggest game in ACC history at the time (remember that FSU didn’t enter the league until 2 years later). At halftime, the Jackets trailed 28-14 and looked overmatched. In the second half, however, the Jackets caught fire behind quarterback Sean Jones, running back William Bell, and wide receivers Emmett Merchant and Bobby Rodriquez. Ultimately, even what seemed like 1,500 yards receiving by Herman Moore couldn’t save the Cavaliers, and Scott Sisson kicked himself into the pantheon of Georgia Tech legends. The final scoreboard read Georgia Tech 41 Virginia 38, and the Jackets went on to claim a share of the National Championship after crushing Nebraska in the Citrus Bowl at season’s end.

5) 1990 Southeast Regional Semifinal: Kenny’s Miracle
The Spartans were the #1 seed, the Jackets were the ACC Champions and a #4 seed. It was over. The game was in the bag. Michigan State led 75-73 with five seconds left, and All-American Steve Smith was about to cap off a legendary performance with two free throws. Then it happened. Smith missed the front end of a one-and-one, Kenny Anderson took the ball the length of the floor and nailed a 19 footer as the horn was sounding. Was it good? Was it a 2 or 3? What the hell was going on? Finally, the refs sorted it all out and awarded the Jackets a 2 point basket. Tech went on to win 81-80 on a Dennis Scott falling down half hook in overtime, and they completed the Big Ten sweep over Minnesota two days later to advance to the first Final Four in school history. The moment Kenny’s shot went through that basket was pure magic, and it’s now one of the most replayed highlights in tournament history. I still get goose bumps every time I see it.

4) 1998 NFC Championship Game: Morten’s Kick
The Vikings were unstoppable. They were an offensive machine that cruised through the regular season at 15-1. Gary Anderson hadn’t missed a field goal all season, and in total he had made 46 straight field goals dating back to the previous season. With the Vikes up 27-20 in the waning minutes, Anderson lined up for a game clinching 38 yarder. The game was as good as done, and then the absolute unthinkable happened. Anderson missed. I still can’t believe it to this day, but he missed. Then the Falcons flew down the field behind Chris Chandler, who somehow avoided a concussion for the entire game, to tie things up and force overtime. On their second possession of overtime, the Falcons moved down the field, and Morten Anderson kicked the Falcons into their only Super Bowl in team history. In retrospect, possibly the most amazing thing about Gary Anderson’s missed field goal and the Falcons’ tying touchdown was that I missed the entire thing. While my team was fighting for their lives, I was hold up in a bathroom in a Pizza Hut in backwoods Alabama after a 24 hour gambling binge in Tunica, MS that left me brittle and broken both mentally and physically. I would have missed these staggering events in the comfort of the Sigma Chi T-Floor bathroom had my car not broken down in Tupelo, MS and Dave Ball, Jason Slider, and I wouldn’t have had to have it towed to some man named Bubba’s backwoods farm because he was the only mechanic in town. On this farm were two rebel flags, somewhere around 18 stripped down trucks, and approximately 30 guns. I never actually saw the guns, but I know they were there. I’m not making any of this up. This was undoubtedly the scariest moment of my life with the possible exception of my near plane crash on the way to Vegas. Should the fact that the two scariest moments of my life involved gambling trips tell me something? Probably.

3) 1992 N.L.C.S. Game 7: Sid Bream
Down 2-1 with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth, on the verge of blowing a 3-1 series lead, a journey man that would have been an average AA hitter pinch hitting and singling to left, the slowest man to ever play the game rumbling around third with the winning run, Bonds throwing a two hopper from short left, BRAVES WIN! BRAVES WIN! BRAVES WIN! I’m sorry, I can’t talk rationally about this moment. I’m sobbing tears of joy on my keyboard right now. Who cares if we lost to a freaking Canadian team in the World Series. This was a moment for the ages. If you will excuse me, I need a little time to myself.

2) 1995 World Series Game 6: Finally
Justice had been getting killed in the local media prior to Game 6 because, well how should I say it? Because he was a huge A-hole, but that’s neither here nor there. What matters is that Justice got his revenge by launching a solo bomb in the sixth for the only run of the game. Glavine gave up one hit in eight innings. Then finally, at a few minutes before midnight on October 28, 1995, in front of 51,875 crazed fans at the old Fulton County Stadium, Marquis Grissom, a hometown guy, squeezed that fly ball, and we finally had it. We finally had our championship. This was the closest I’ve ever seen my Dad come to crying. Undoubtedly, the best night of my life. I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing the Falcons win the Super Bowl or the Hawks win the NBA title, but I just can’t imagine anything ever coming close to the feeling you have when you see your boyhood baseball team win the World Series. I just pray to God I get feel this again.

1) 1996 World Series Game 4: Oh No!
Well, the list is the “Most Memorable” moments, not the best. Maybe it says something about my personality that my most memorable moment is undoubtedly my worst moment as a sports fan EVER! You know what I said about nothing comparing to the feeling when your boyhood baseball team wins the Series? Well, take the opposite of that feeling and multiply by 10 and that’s how I felt on October 23, 1996. Up 2-1 in the Series, up 6-0 after five innings, up 6-3 after seven innings, and then L…L…L… I can’t even type his freaking name. You know who I’m talking about. That son of a bitch hit a three run bomb. The Yanks won in 10, Wohlers fell apart faster than Britney Spears, everybody and their brother knew the Series was all but said and done, and the Yankees won 4 out of five World Series. The Braves, on the other hand, have never recovered. I believe this with all the fiber of my being…that one pitch, that one freaking moment altered history. The Yankees stole our dynasty. Nobody can convince me otherwise. I don’t blame Wohlers, but I’ve never been able to reconcile my feelings about him. He was on the mound for the greatest night of my life, and he was on the mound for the worst moment of my life as a sports fan. It must be how guys who get divorced think of their ex-wives. I mean, she is the mother of your kids, but she’s also the woman who ruined your life and takes half your paycheck every month! It’s just a horrible conflict. How are you supposed to deal with her? I guess in a weird way, if I never get married, I can blame Mark Wohlers.

So, there's my 7. I'm sure everybody out there can add to the list!

Saturday, January 28, 2006 

The Challenger 20 Years Later

I can't believe its been twenty years. It was "that" moment of my childhood. I will never forget where I was and what I felt when it happened. I was eight years old and time stood still. 20 years later, when you watch the address from President Reagan, time again stands still. The speech is only a couple of minutes long, and it will help you remember these heroes that should never be forgotten:


Friday, January 27, 2006 

Captions, Kaitlin, and Super Bowl Hype

The first order of business this morning is to announce the winner of yesterday's caption contest. First of all, thanks to Robbie for stepping up to the plate, locating a great picture, and getting the ball rolling. I know it's hard to believe, but I do have a real job that from time to time takes priority over The WAD. Secondly, Shalloway and Vines are disqualified because they hate the President. What can I say? My blog, my rules. Finally, for the second straight week, Fite takes home the prize. I was really hesitant about giving out the hardware to the same guy two weeks in a row, but that "Brokeback Mountain" comment nearly made me laugh until I cried. Come on guys, somebody has to step up and take this guy out next week.

The second thing on the plate today is to inform all of you that the actress that plays Kaitlin Cooper on "The O.C." is actually only 14 years old in real life. Let's just say that I thought some you should know that.

Lastly, on Fridays I usually provide you with riveting and ingenious analysis of the upcoming weekend's football games. Okay, so it's more like rambling, incoherent, and sure to lose you money analysis, but it's analysis nonetheless. Well, this week, of course, there are no football games to talk about. That's right, it's finally upon us, the wasteland between the end of football season and March Madness. My plan for today was to still provide you with a detailed look at the major sporting events of the weekend and get you prepared, but once again that little annoyance called work has gotten in the way. Quite simply, I crashed when I got home last night and I slept in this morning. Therefore, I did no research on this weekend's sporting schedule, and I have nothing to offer you. I do, however, think it would be beneficial to share with you some of the upcoming plans for The WAD.

First and foremost, when I started doing The WAD, the Braves were in the midst of their heartbreaking playoff loss to the Astros. Well, needless to say, I wrote a lot about the Braves and Atlanta in general. As things have evolved, however, many of you guys that have come to read every day don't live in Atlanta so I have made a conscious effort to write as much as possible about things outside the A-T-L. It's come to my attention, however, that a lot of my local readers would like me to re-focus a little more on the hometown. Well, I've decided to attempt to find a middle ground between being too Atlanta-centric and not talking enough about the greatest city in the world. Here's what I'm going to do. Starting next week, at least one article/column/post/entry is going to specifically relate to Atlanta. It may be Atlanta sports or culture or venting. I figure over the next several months I'll explore the ins and out of all Atlanta has to offer, good and bad, in all areas ranging from sports, restaurants, bars, clubs, women, traffic, swingers clubs, etc... Okay, probably not swingers clubs, but I think you get the picture. For those of you who don't live in Atlanta and couldn't care less about Atlanta, I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make these articles funny, entertaining, and still interesting to you. I can't make any promises, however, because I'm an inherently un-entertaining guy. I'll do what I can. At the very worst though, it's only going to be once or twice a week, so you can survive.

Also, another programming note I wanted to give you involves next week. As you know, the whole world will be fixated on the Super Bowl next week. Well, despite the fact that the concept for The WAD is a complete ripoff, we try to be as creative as possible. Therefore, with the exception of next Friday, I don't intend on devoting any time to Super Bowl talk or coverage. Quite frankly, I don't think the game is compelling, but if you still want coverage of the game you will be able to find it everywhere you turn. Instead of the Super Bowl, next week will be the first annual "High Fidelity Tribute Week" on The WAD. For those of you who don't know, "High Fidelity" is an amazing little Cusak film that happens to be one of my favorite movies. One of the big hooks of the movie is that Cusak is frequently offering his Top 5 list of various things. Well, taking a cue from the Cus, (pronounced "coos" and not "cuss"), I'm going to give you a week's worth of my Top 10 lists. I could do Top 5's but that wouldn't be original would it? I can't divulge the topics for the list for Monday through Thursday, but I can tell you that next Friday's list will be the Top 10 Super Bowl Moments of All Time followed by analysis of the least compelling Super Bowl of my lifetime.

I also wanted to remind ya'll that I love comments, questions, and suggestions for The WAD. Please feel free to email me at mad2006@columbia.edu anytime you have something to say. One day, if I have enough good emails, we might be able to incorporate them into a column.

Finally, just one more reminder. She's 14 dude!

Have a great weekend.

Thursday, January 26, 2006 

Caption Contest

Well, I'm filling in for Dunn this afternoon upon his request because he says he's too busy...with his job?...I thought this blog was his job??? Anyhow, though I love our President dearly I equally love his SNLish character of dumb guy...therefore, I've decided to use this picture for this week's caption contest (Limit 1 comment per Shalloway). Let the fun begin...


Hot Routes

It's Thursday morning so that means it's time to avoid the blitz and throw the Hot Routes.

Paul Hewitt
In the wake of Athletic Director Dave Braine's recent resignation, we've been hearing a lot about the clause in Paul Hewitt's contract that allows him to walk away without a buyout within 18 months of Braine's resignation. Well, in the wake of last night's 12 point home loss to Maryland I started doing a little thinking. Is it possible that Hewitt looks for an opportunity to bail after this season? Here's how the logic goes: By all accounts, Hewitt is a pretty marketable guy right now. He's less than two years removed from an appearance in the national title game and he's landed a stellar recruiting class for next season. The problem is that those recruits are still playing in high school this season while the Jackets are mired in the midst of a 9-8 season. Nobody, however, is faulting Hewitt for the current season. The fact of the matter is that the Jackets are young and lack a passable point guard. Because of the restrictions of the soon to be obsolete NCAA 8 & 5 rule, this situation was pretty much unavoidable for the Jackets this season. All this adds up to the fact that Hewitt's marketability most likely will not suffer at all regardless of the Jacket's final record this year. Next year, however, with the increased expectations that come with a prized recruiting class, the pressure will be on to achieve much bigger things. Bigger achievements, however, are never a guarantee with a young class. If you don't believe me, just ask Bill Self how many good night's sleep he has had since practice started in October. So, what happens if the Jacket's struggle again next year? Well, Hewitt will lose some, if not most, of his luster and he will find himself outside his 18 month window without other attractive options. Therefore, instead of rolling the dice on a bunch of young kids, it wouldn't necessarily be a bad move for Coach Hewitt to explore his other options at the end of this season. Nobody, of course, knows if this is something that would even cross the Coach's mind, but it's definitely worth keeping an eye on. If Tech hires an A.D. that Hewitt is comfortable with and excited about working with, this discussion might be about as relevant as Jack Black at the Academy Awards.

Yesterday, I linked the article to the story about Isiah Thomas being alleged of sexual harassment. Since then, I've heard a lot of folks saying things to the effect that Isiah should resign to avoid bringing distractions to the Knicks locker room. I tend to go the exact opposite way on this one. Trust me, I'm not attempting to make light of the severity of these charges. This is a very serious matter that we can only hope is adjudicated fairly and properly. That being said, however, I simply don't see how you could be concerned about this being a distraction for the Knicks. They are 13 - 27 for God's sake! Maybe a distraction is just what they need. At least they won't have to look on the back page of the Post and Newsday everyday and see a headline about how awful they are an embarrassment to the City. My guess is that over the next 90 days, Isiah and these allegations will garner the headlines at least 60 times. My point is that if you are going to force Isiah out, you should do it because he's the Keanu Reeve's of basketball executives not because of something he's accused of doing. Just like Keanu, he's awful, everybody knows he's awful, but he somehow still pops up with great gigs.

The Pistons
For everybody who hates on the NBA because it's not a "team" game and it's dominated by stars and selfish play, I refer you to the Detroit Pistons. The Pistons beat the Bucks at home last night to push their record to 35-5! That's right, 35-5. Not only are the Pistons on pace to join the hallowed company of the 1996 Bulls as the only other team to win 70 games in a season, they are the model of the team concept in professional sports. Truly no superstars, but a collection of quality and unselfish players. Four guys average over 14 points a game and seven guys average over 15 minutes a night. This is a team Coach Norman Dale would have been proud to coach: "Five players on the floor functioning as one single unit: team, team, team - no one more important that the other." Anyway, if you haven't been paying attention, you might want to start. Do you really want to look back in 20 years and say you missed out on history in the making?

Don't forget to check back this afternoon for the Thursday afternoon Caption Contest. If you have any potential pictures, email them to me.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 

Mailing It In & Opinion Poll

Today is one of those days. Instead of boring you with 2,000 words on Barry Bond's decision to skip the World Baseball Classic, Ron Artest's sabotaging of his trade to Sacramento, or Julie Bowen and Michael J. Fox's slightly weird but torrid love affair on "Boston Legal", I'm just going point you to some other things on the web that should amuse you. Enjoy!

I know everybody has heard of "jibjab" by now, but I hadn't seen the latest video until this week. Absolutely hilarious. These guys are phenomenal.

WARNING!!! If you are at work, turn the volume way down low. Very funny, but very off color.

Dave Ball sent me this link yesterday. Just when I thought I wasn't going to have any rooting interest in this year's Super Bowl, the Steelers start to step up and really give me reasons to root against them. Good times.

Sad news out of Hollywood. After his epic beat down of Johnny Drama in this past season's Entourage, I think it's fair to say that Chris Penn will be missed

Well, it's a pretty huge story so I didn't want you to go without some Ron Artest coverage.

Zeke accused of sexual harassment? You hate to see something like this happen to such a good person. (Who says that sarcasm doesn't translate in writing?) The lesson here, of course, is don't ever threaten Bill Simmons on national radio. It's just bad Karma.

This one is real simple. I've already let you know that I think Kobe's 81 point game is nothing short of a legendary accomplishment. I, however, have heard a lot of talk over the past two days that it was nothing more than another selfish act by an inherently selfish guy. So, what do ya'll think? Legendary accomplishment or selfish act? And, go...

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 

Television Tuesday

After a long day at the office, there is nothing better than curling up on the couch with some Chick-Fil-A and 2 hours and 20 minutes of quality television programming. That's actually three separate one hour shows for all you poor souls that are stuck in the pre-DVR world. Really, if you don't have DVR by now all I can figure is that you are a masochist. Seriously, why would you subject yourself to such torture. It's kind of like when I see some dude with at the airport on his way to vacation with his wife and three kids. As he's screaming at one kid while chasing the other two screaming brats around the security check point while getting evil glares from the TSA agents and every other passenger in line, I always ask myself "why in the world didn't this guy just load up the car and drive to Hilton Head or something?" Anyway, last night consisted of two compelling hours of television, and I figured it was only fair that I discuss them.

Okay, it's no secret that I'm a "24" fanatic. Aside from "The Sopranos", I'm just not sure any other television show compares. In fact, "24" and "The Sopranos" are kind of like Joe DiMaggio and Ted Williams before they both died. In other words, everybody knows they are the two best of all time, but nobody is really willing to make the leap and pick one over the other. You get what I'm driving at. Well, last night was kind of a cool down in the early part of the "24" season. After coming out of the gate furiously, it was only natural that we have at least one hour to step back, collect our thoughts, and sort a few things out. I mean, any hour where Jack Bauer only offs one bad guy has got to be considered a cooling down period. That being said, the show wasn't without action and startling revelations. From the moment that Audrey and the chick from Spin City met face to face and both realized that they would be fighting for Jack's love to the moment when Jack broke the will of Spencer in world record time to uncover the fact that Walt Cummings is a dirt bag, the show was typically captivating. Last night, as I was watching the show, however, I couldn't help but ask myself some questions:

1) How in the world did President Logan get to be President?
I know this guy was never elected President and only came to power after the President was killed in the great Air Force One disaster of 2004, but how did he ever get to be Vice President? He is undoubtedly the biggest weasel in the history of politics. He combines the spine and intelligence of Jimmy Carter with the personal ambition and reckless disregard for his office of Bill Clinton. It's simply appalling. The lesson, of course, is to NEVER vote Democrat. Okay, fine, we'll leave politics out of this. Even so, you have to hate President Logan. If they ever did a cross-over show with "Grey's Anatomy" there is no doubt that he would end up with Dr. Yang. She is the only character on television that even comes close to matching him on the levels of repugnancy (The levels of repugnancy deserves it's own discussion one day).

2) How does a mole ever find his way into CTU?
From the first and greatest mole, Nina Meyers, to the newest traitor, Spencer, how do these people get their way into CTU? Don't they have a screening process? Or can anybody that speaks "computer geek" get a job there? This really bothers me.

3) How the hell did Sean Astin get into this cast?
Shouldn't he be shooting "Lord of the Rings IX" right now? Admittedly, he was better last night, but he seems more out of place than my mother at the Cheetah. I can't explain it, but he just doesn't fit. Everybody in this cast has to be believable portraying intensity out the ears, and I can't look at this guy without thinking of Rudy/A Hobbit/the roided up goof ball brother from "50 First Dates". It's just not working for me. No casting error is big enough to ruin "24" but a guy like Sean Astin in the cast can certainly be a distraction. I only hope that by Hour 10 Bill Buchanan gets fed up and sends Rudy back to the practice squad.

4) Does anybody care about the First Lady?
I can't tell you how much I was hoping that Logan was going to find his wife face down in the bath tub last night. Granted, she has information that could potentially help Jack, but do you really think Jack needs her help? Every season there is one auxiliary story line that is necessary to fill time, but leaves you tempted to fast forward to the fun stuff. In Seasons 1 through 3 they all involved the pre "Girl Next Door" Elisha Cuthbert. This year it's the whole "would somebody please listen to the crazy ass First Lady" story line. If this isn't resolved in the next few hours I might start getting angry at her.

5) When will we see Elisha Cuthbert?
Speaking of the aforementioned Kim Bauer, she's been promised, now I am anxiously waiting. In those first three seasons, she was always cute, but never cute enough to warrant the air time and the inexplicable drama she brought to the table. Now, after her breakout in "The Girl Next Door" let's just say that her absence is being felt. In fact, I could handle an entire episode of only Kim sitting locked in a room with a scud missile tied to her ass if it means air time for Cuthbert.

6) Did Walt Cummings Really Think His assassin Would Kill Jack Bauer?
Come on Walt. This is Jack Bauer we are talking about. You could send in a team of Navy Seals and the odds are still in his favor. You are going to do better than a single assassin. He did, however, acquit himself well by breaking Jack's ribs before our boy finally plunged surgical scissors into his jugular. Does anybody find cooler ways to kill people than Jack Bauer?

"The Bachelor Paris"
Okay, go ahead and get the heckling out of the way. Before this season, I had never watched "The Bachelor", but for various reasons I decided to give it a go this year. Now, I'm hooked. Granted, I'm pandering a little here. I was talking with two of my female readers on Friday night and they were demanding more "female friendly" content. So, never one to disappoint my readers, here's a little something for the ladies. Don't worry boys, I wouldn't leave you hanging so I've decided to combine our world with the ladies world and provide you with the odds on the remaining girls to win:

Jehan (100:1) - She's a 29 year old sales rep from Chicago, IL. Listen, when she got a rose last night, I turned to Hans and said "who is that?" That should tell you all you need to know. If Shiloh hadn't decided to get all catty and throw all the other chicks under the bus to Travis, Jehan would have probably been catching the red eye back to JFK last night (or the night they filmed this six months ago. You get the freaking point).

Tara (75:1) - She's a 23 old from San Diego, CA in retail sales. In other words, she runs the cash register at Banana Republic. Anyway, Tara's biggest flaw is that she appears to be a bad drunk and goes out of her way to screw up the other girls' private time with Travis. On more than one occasion she has rudely interrupted private conversations with the Bachelor and some other chick. She's potentially dangerous because she has a great body and she's a red head. Honestly, there is something about a red head that gets to guys. Maybe it's because the hot ones seem to be a rare commodity, but whatever it is, we tend to find them intriguing. If you are looking for a "Giacamo" (long shot winner of the 2005 Kentucky Derby) type long shot to back, Tara could be the one.

Sarah S. (40:1) - She's a 26 year old kindergarten teacher from the Bachelor's hometown of Nashville, TN. The hometown connection certainly works in her favor, but that's pretty much it. Sarah S. seems sweet, but she's pretty bland. In comparison to the other girls, she doesn't stack up in the attractiveness department and she seems to care a little too much. However, I'm not entirely convinced this whole thing isn't rigged and if it was, the kindergarten teacher from his hometown would make a nice story. Therefore, we are giving her a puncher's chance at 40:1.

Moana (10:1) - She's a 26 year old distribution manager from L.A. Seriously, could these girls be more vague about their profession. Moana has several things going for her. First, she's hot. Second, the other girls despise her (always a good sign that she's pretty cool). Third, she's not all "I'm looking for the one, I love him, blah, blah, blah." This third attribute could be what carries her through. I mean, I just don't see this girl saying anything incredibly off the wall or cheesy to scare the hell out of the Bachelor. She just seems really chill, intriguing, and well put together mentally. Ultimately, however, the other girls' hate of her could sabotage things for Moana. Especially because the Bachelor's Mom and Sister are coming to visit next week and you just know all the remaining girls are going to throw this girl under the bus. Next week may be make or break for Moana. If she is still standing, she may soar to the top of the list.

Sarah B (3:1) - She's a 23 year old student from Winnipeg, Canada. Sarah seems really sweet and cute. Sarah also seems stoned a good portion of the time. I guess that could be good or bad depending on how you look at it. But let's not kid each other, Sarah B. is hot. She's really hot. She's so hot that I don't think the Bachelor has actually heard a word she's said so far. Probably a good thing for Sarah. If this guy is really in this to find a wife then Sarah's odds shouldn't be this high. Then again, if this guy is really in this to find a wife he might not be smart enough to know that the young, cute, Canadian stoner isn't always the best way to go.

Susan (2:1) - She's a 25 year old Financial Associate from Overland Park, Kansas. In short, this girl seems to have it all. She's hot, she's articulate, and she gives off an aura of class. Not to mention, that she was showing interior side boob in last night's rose ceremony. That's right, interior side boob! The FCC must have been asleep at the wheel. The only thing working against Susan right now is that she came dangerously close to making ridiculous "scare the hell out of the Bachelor" comments last night when she told him that she was a "smitten kitten." Not to mention that she appears to be the front runner right now, and I don't think the mid-season front runner ever wins these things. For now, however, we can only go with what we know, and as of the moment she's a solid 2:1 favorite.

Monday, January 23, 2006 

Monday Musing

  • Well, I took my fair share of punishment about Roethlisberger yesterday. From the guys I was watching the game with to emails from readers, but I will only admit one thing at this point. Big Ben had a great statistical game yesterday and he looked liked a Super Bowl quarterback at times. You simply can't overlook the fact, however, that he is not scared to put his team in terrible situations. Fortunately for him, the Broncos secondary can't catch. The Broncos flat out dropped three interceptions and Nick Ferguson inexplicably let one fly through his hands. Of those four huge mistakes by Big Ben, the Broncos capitalized on none. So, instead of pulling his "nobody thought we could do this. We were disrespected" routine after the game, Big Ben would have done well to keep his voice down and walk with humility.

  • Okay, this is the last thing I'm going to say on the topic for a while because I'm thoroughly bored and exhausted by it, but people have been killing me wanting to know what my definition of a good quarterback is. Well, it's like Justice Rehnquist said about pornography, "I don't know how to define it, but I know it when I see it!" Well, that is definitely true, but one thing a quarterback must do is average at least 200 yards/game passing to be considered a "good" quarterback. Think about that for a minute. Is that asking so much? Hell, I think it's a generous, but I'm willing to live with it. And no, Roethlisberger didn't average 200 yards/game this season.

  • KOBE!!! Wow. Enough talking about people who aren't as good as their hype. Let's talking about somebody who doesn't get the props he deserves. Somewhere between the adultery, the rape accusations, his throwing of Shaq under the bus with the cops ("Shit, Shaq does this stuff all the time"), and the orchestrating of a Shakespearian coupe that landed Shaq in South Beach, Phil at home, and himself in the dog house with every basketball fan on the planet, we all forgot that Kobe Bryant is the best player in basketball. 81 points????? Are you kidding me? The guy shot 61% from the field last night. Sure he shot 46 times, but when your that hot why wouldn't you keep shooting? Best of all, the crowd at the Staples Center showered him with "M-V-P" chants. I'm genuinely happy for the guy. Those of you who know me know that is a weird thing to come out of my mouth, because I have never been a Kobe fan. In fact, I've pretty much been the President of the Kobe Hater Corp., but enough is enough. When he was young, I hated him because I felt he consciously tried to rip off M.J.'s identity, from the way he walked, chewed gum, and even talked slyly out of the side of his mouth. I felt like it was all a cheap impersonation of the Greatest of All Time. Now, after everything he's gone through, he's definitely developed his own identity and personality. I'm not suggesting that we should forget the sins of his past. I'm simply suggesting that there is no way that even the biggest Kobe haters of all time can ignore what he is accomplishing. It's time to stop hating and enjoy the show.

  • Seahawks v. Steelers. Gross. A team I detest against a team from the land of liberals and Starbucks. Anybody want to play golf two Sundays from now? The only good thing is that Vegas has clearly lost their mind and made the Steelers 4.5 point favorites. Yes, I'm salivating over this. I might stuff a suitcase full of cash and fly to Vegas for this one. Does anybody have a suitcase full of cash I can borrow?

  • What a performance by Georgetown on Saturday. Remember my article last week about the resurgence of the Big East? Man, the intensity and excitement in the MCI Center Saturday was unbelievable. While the talent level in college basketball may be less than desirable at the moment, we are going to be treated to great games like this for the remainder of the season in the Big East and the ACC. Duke fell victim to the curse of the freshman point guard, but I have no doubt that Coach K will take the loss and make them better for it. It also warrants mentioning that for the first 36 minutes of that game JJ Reddick was putting on one of the greatest individual performances I have ever seen in college basketball. Ultimately, I think his legs gave out on him and the guys around him weren't able to pick up the slack. Coach K is going to have to find a way to limit his minutes some before they get into March if this team is going to give the greatest Coach of All time his fourth ring.

  • Did you see Grey's Anatomy last night? I did, and I'm terribly alarmed. The episode was flat, and brought nothing new to the table. I know that even some of the best shows lay an egg from time to time, but this one was so blah that it was enough for Hans and I to seriously question where the show is going. My only hope is that the impending nurse's strike leads to the introduction of some sassy new female characters. A man can hope can't he?

  • Just saw that Dick Jauron is going to be the next head coach of the Buffalo Bills. Are NFL teams required to recycle bad coaches? Do they ever learn? I'm waiting for the announcement any day that Wayne Fontes and Dan Henning have been given head jobs. Hell, I'm pretty sure Jerry Glanville is still available. The NFL blows my mind on so many levels. None of them good!

Friday, January 20, 2006 

Centennial Celebration

Today is a big day for The WAD and not just because Kaitlin Cooper came roaring back to the O.C. last night. Although, Kaitlin just might deserve her own column/entry/post! Anyway, after three and a half months of my ramblings about mostly sports and some movies and t.v., today marks the 100th entry/column/post on The WAD. That’s right. 100! When this all started, I thought it would be fun to have a “blog” to occasionally give some of the people I know a look into what was on my mind. Well, now 100 looks into my mind later, The WAD has turned into a part of my daily routine, and more people are reading than I ever imagined. So, thanks to everybody who takes time to read and special thanks to those who take the time to comment. The WAD is truly a blast for me. I only hope that you guys enjoy it half as much as I do and continue to tell new people about what we have going on here. I know I’m a dork, but nothing makes me more excited than seeing a new commenter. Well, enough with the nostalgia and the slurping, let’s act like men here. By that, I mean we should all pop a cold beer, spit, and scratch ourselves. Okay, you are probably at work, so let’s just talk some football.

This weekend is like Christmas for die hard football fans. Four teams and two spots in the Super Bowl at stake! It just doesn’t get any better than this. Well, I guess it could be better if any of the teams still alive had any personality at all. Seriously, have there ever been four more bland teams in the conference finals? I can honestly never remember having less interest in the final four teams. The only thing I could possibly find compelling is if Plummer and Roethlisberger had a side bet that the loser had to shave their beard. Or, maybe FOX could put a microphone on Delhomme so we could hear all the corny things he says in the huddle to pump his team up. Doesn’t it just seem like he’s the kind of guy that is constantly saying things like “come on fellas, let’s get pumped up. Let’s seize this moment. This is our time!” I mean, I have no doubt that at some point during this game he will slip in Shane Falco’s little gem, “pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory…lasts forever.” It gives me the creeps to just think about this. On the bright side, the Bears are gone. Thank God for small favors!

Well, compelling or not, these games are going to happen so you might as well bet on them. I mean, why wouldn’t you? That would just be silly. In that spirit, let’s break ‘em down.

Pittsburgh +3.5 @ Denver
I’m torn here. One way or another, I’m going to be repulsed at one of the quarterbacks in the Super Bowl. Honestly, I would be more o.k. with Plummer than Roethlisberger, but not much. As far as I’m concerned, however, this game comes down to one thing and one thing only: you don’t win a game like the Steelers won last week for no reason. I mean, first Bettis fumbles, then Nick Harper does everything in his power to get tackled, and finally, the most accurate kicker in the NFL completely shanks a 47 yard field goal in a dome! In other words, the planets are aligned for these guys. If you don’t believe me, just think back to the Music City Miracle. After that, was there any doubt that the Titans were going to the Super Bowl? Some things defy logic, and the only explanation is fate. If you are willing to wager against fate then you are a braver man than I am. Also, forget what I said earlier this week about the Steelers not being good enough to win three games on the road in three weeks. I was drunk. Okay, I wasn’t drunk. I was just full of crap.

Carolina +3.5 @ Seattle
Okay, I’m picking the Panthers for one very simple reason. I am actively rooting for the Seahawks, and on the non-existent chance that Steve Smith might stumble across The WAD, I refuse to say anything negative about Smith or the Panthers. In fact, I think the Panthers are the greatest team of our lifetime, and I think Steve Smith is the best wide receiver since Jerry Rice. In fact, if Steve Smith quit right now, he would be a first ballot Hall of Famer. If I ever have a son, I want Steve Smith to be his Godfather. If he’s not willing, I’m still going to name my son Steve Smith Dunn. (In case you haven’t heard, it’s a REALLY bad idea to piss off Steve Smith. If you don’t believe me, just ask the Bears’ secondary.)

Okay, so there you have it, a scientific breakdown of Sunday’s games. Before wrapping up the 100th column/entry/post on The WAD, I wanted to add one more thing to honor the occasion. Some of you know, most of you don’t, that the inspiration from The WAD came from countless email exchanges with some of my buddies. Essentially, we would spend countless hours debating sports back and forth until the point that I’m pretty sure I’m personally responsible for crashing the email server at my old law firm. Ultimately, I decided that it would be a more efficient use of my time to put my thoughts on a “blog” at one time instead of making all my points over several hours of email. Like I said above, little did I know what I was getting myself into! At any rate, yesterday, we turned back the clock and three of my buddies and I engaged in a little email debate. The topic was “what is the most famous play in NFL history?” The inspiration came from Tony Kornheiser’s comments on Monday’s PTI that the Bettis fumble would have been the most famous play in NFL history if the Colts had won. The vast majority of our emails were long winded and boring, but I’ve pulled some of the best comments. For your sake, I have omitted the 7 email string about how I’m a crappy speller. Okay, it was just as much for my sake as yours, but I’ve never claimed not to be selfish. Anyway, it’s a fun debate, and I hope some of you have your own comments.

Robbie: Had Nick Harper returned Bettis’s fumble for a touchdown and Indy went on to win the Super Bowl, then yes, it could go down as one of the most famous plays in history. But as long as we’re playing pretend, I’d say the most famous play was when I picked off Tom Brady in the end zone as time expired in the Super Bowl and ran it back for the game winning td to give the Lions a 27-24 victory (Dunn was coaching the Pats thus the reasoning behind Brady passing with the game in hand).

Dunn: You’re such a dick. Just because I think only throwing the ball five times in a half shows a lack of trust in your quarterback doesn't mean I advocate throwing the ball in the final minutes when the game is in hand. You would have been a great lawyer because just like most of them, you totally distort the facts and make ridiculous arguments. Anyway, as to the play in question, how did Nick Harper NOT score? Seriously, isn't this inexplicable? Isn't his failure to score just as unbelievable and egregious as Bettis's fumble?

As for the most famous or greatest play in NFL history, I just don't think it gets any better than Mike Jones's tackle of Kevin Dyson one yard short in the Super Bowl. I mean, has so much ever been decided by so little? How in the world do the Titans not throw that ball into the end zone? Who calls in the slant on the last play of the Super Bowl? Yes, I'm still bitter because that was my greatest gambling loss of all time. If he scores, I rack up on the Titans, the over, and the parlay. That was a five hundred dollar tackle. At that time in my life, $500 would have changed my life immeasurably. I could have gotten drunk for a couple of months on my winnings! If I ever see Mike Jones, I'm going to kick him in the nads, steal his wallet, and there better be $500 in there!

Colby: The play would not have been that famous, because the media would have focused on whatever touchdown Peyton Manning threw to win the game as the classic play in the game.

"The Catch" from Montana to Dwight Clark is the most famous play, although my personal favorite is John Riggins' 42-yard touchdown run on 4th and 2 in Super Bowl XVII. From NFL Films with dramatic music in the background..."the play 70-chip, and the name John Riggins, will live forever in Redskins folklore". It still gives me goosebumps.

Doesn't it suck that "The Catch" is such a famous play? I mean, it was a nice catch at an important moment....but nothing that spectacular. I am sick of seeing it. Bettis' fumble would have been a much cooler play to see over and over every year during the playoffs.

Thursday, January 19, 2006 

Caption Contest

After Peyton's emasculating of Tony Dungy on Sunday, I felt like a picture of the "Tony Dungy Face" was perfect for the caption contest.

Here's what I think is going through his mind in this picture:

"If I could hire someone to pull a Gilluli on this arrogant prick I might finally get to a freaking Super Bowl!"

Don't forget, the winner gets a prize!


Hot Routes

It's Thursday morning, things are nuts around the office, and I feel like Peyton Manning under the rush of the Pittsburgh defense. No other choice but to throw the hot routes:

Chad Johnson
How have I missed this story? How has this story not been all over the place? I didn't even know about this until I heard the guys on 790 the Zone talking about it this morning. In case you are like me and have somehow managed not to hear about this, I'll fill you in. Apparently, at halftime of the Steelers first round victory over the Bengals, Johnson pulled a T.O. in the locker room and threw a punch at his wide receiver's coach and got into it with head coach Marvin Lewis! Mind you that the Bengals were winning 17-14 at halftime!!! What the hell was going on here? I mean, I love Chad Johnson. I thought he was different than all the other A-hole wide receivers. Was I wrong or did he just happened to look into Jon Kitna's eyes at halftime only to suddenly realize his dream season was over? Did he just snap? I don't know. I need some freaking details!!! Could somebody on that team that knows they aren't coming back next year just spill the beans and tell the world what exactly happened?

Antonio Davis
I'm sure that by now everybody has seen the clip of Antonio hopping the scorer's table last night in Chicago and calmly walking up to check on the welfare of his wife and child when some fan was apparently acting in a belligerent manner around them. I've heard a lot of people screaming questions this morning like "how could he be so stupid to go in the stands after what happened in Detroit last year?" On it's face, that seems like a legitimate question; however, I think this situation is different. First of all, when he jumped the scorer's table, I'm sure everybody in the building had horrible flashbacks to the Motor City Mayhem, but the calm manner in which Davis conducted himself afterwards ensured that the situation wouldn't escalate. At the end of the day, he just wanted to make sure his wife and kid were not threatened. The NBA, however, has an obligation to ensure that what happened in Detroit never happens again, so he had to be ejected from the game, and I think a fine would be appropriate. I, however, don't think he should be suspended or in any way be equated with the raving lunatics, Stephen Jackson and Ron Artest, that turned the Palace into the Great American Bash.

Dating Etiquette
This is for all my single female readers (whow may or may not exist). If you choose the restaurant for a date with a guy, be considerate and choose a place where he can get out for well under $100. Is this so hard? I don't think so. I think it's only polite.

Check back this afternoon for our weekly "Caption Contest."

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 

The Beast is Back

Believe it or not, I have been speechless a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. One such time came back in my junior year of college when I stood at center court of Madison Square Garden for the first time, with one of my best friends, Kyle Perry, and looked around at all the banners, soaked up all the history, and had another friend snap a picture for posterity sake. I was, of course, speechless again a few hours later when the team I worked for, the vaunted Yellow Jackets out of the ACC, were blown out by Speedy Claxton and Hofstra! Anyway, there is a lot of history in MSG, but for me it wasn't about Ali v. Frazier, Willis Reed saving the day in Game 7 of the 1970 NBA finals, or even the litany of memories Jordan made in this building. For me, the Garden was so special because of my memories of the glory days of Big East basketball when I was a child.

I first felt in love with basketball when I was about 7 years old. It was just in time for me to become obsessed with the Mark Price led Georgia Tech team that won the 1985 ACC Title and finally fell to Georgetown in the Elite Eight. While there was no doubt that my passion for Tech basketball was, and always has been, my first allegiance, thanks to the old "Big Monday" telecasts of the Big East, I also fell in love with the Big East. Specifically, I fell in love with the St. John's teams led by future Hall of Famers Mark Jackson and Chris Mullin and Coach Lou Carnesecca. After all, it only made sense because I had family in New York, Mullin had grown up in the same Catholic parish as my family, and Carnesseca was Italian. Being Italian has always scored you points in my household. However, there was more to those St. John's teams and the entire Big East during the mid to late '80's and into the early '90's. There was an intensity, and excitement, and a buzz around nearly every game that is sometimes hard to describe. Just look at 1985 for example. With St. John's, Villanova, and Georgetown, you had three of the eventual Final Four teams slugging it out for prominence in their own conference. Remember too that this was the time when college basketball was at it's apex all around. The talent pool had not been riddled by early NBA draft entries, and the fundamental skills of the players had not been eroded by the "me first" environment of the AAU summers. These were the glory days of college basketball, and the Big East, along with the ACC, was leading the way for everybody else. Hell, in the 1985-1986 season, you had Carnesseca, John Thompson, Rolly Massimino, Jim Boeheim, Jim Calhoun, and a baby faced Rick Pitino all coaching in the same eight team league! You may want to go back and read that sentence again. That's six legendary coaches in the league at the same time. The arguments back then over who was the better conference, the ACC or the Big East, were often heated but always legitimate. The ACC itself boasted a coaching lineup of Dean Smith, Coach K, Lefty Driesel, Bobby Cremins, and Jimmy Valvano. Not too shabby either. Ultimately, however, no matter how you sliced it, the Big East was truly a beast.

In the early '90's, however, the league started to slip. Ultimately, UConn and Syracuse essentially rose to a level consistently above the others in the league, and the style of play seemed to grind to an alarmingly slow pace. Over the past decade, many games in the Big East seemed more reminiscent of the legendary Ali v. Frazier fight in the Garden than the classic matchups of Mullin and Jackson vs. Ewing and Reggie Williams. I wish I could explain it, but I simply can't. In short, the Big East seemed to really lose it's luster. Don't get me wrong, the league still placed an impressive number of teams in the NCAA tournament every year, but the style of play and the intensity surrounding each matchup undoubtedly deteriorated. It's probably no coincidence that by the early '90's three of the aforementioned six legendary coaches had departed the league, and with the exception of the two years he had the services of Allen Iverson, Coach Thompson's teams really weren't much of a factor on the national stage. So, the Big East slugged along as a remnant of it's past self. Then, thanks to the slick maneuvering of Commission Mike Tranghese and his aggressive expansion plan, the league has suddenly and dramatically brought itself back from the brink.

Last night, as I was watching St. John's dismantle Pitino's Louisville squad in front of a packed MSG crowd, I was struck by then intensity of play and the intensity of the atmosphere surrounding the game. It was truly like stepping back in time. This is doubly impressive when you consider that I was watching the game with the sound muted because Hans and I were watching "Scrubs" and "Boston Legal" on the other big screen. Sure, many of the names on the front and the back of the jerseys have changed, and there are twice as many teams as the original eight, but it's undeniable that the Beast is back. If you don't believe me, just take a look at the standings. With about a quarter of the conference schedule complete, there are 10 teams in the Big East with 11 or more wins. By anybody's estimation that gives all of those teams a legitimate chance to earn an NCAA tournament bid. Not to mention, that Coach K disciple, Mike Brey, and his Fighting Irish are lurking with 10 wins. The natural result is, of course, that every game will once again bring with it an inordinate amount of passion and intensity. With this much parity and this many quailty teams, every game could be the difference between you playing in March or an early start to off-season workouts. Do I think the Big East will put 10 teams in the NCAA tournament? Probably not. Do I think it's possible? Absolutely. Either way, I'm just excited that there is once again a reason to clear your schedule for a week night Big East game. I'm even more excited that with the new age requirements in the NBA we are going to see the best players sticking around for a at least a couple of years so the quality of play in the Big East, and all around college basketball for that matter, is bound to improve from the watered down version we have had to endure over the past 8 years or so. Don't get me wrong, I'm a die hard ACC guy. In my mind, there is still nothing better than ACC basketball, but it's nice to have our old running mate back. Granted, he looks a lot different than he used to, but he's got his legs back.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006 

Monday Musings on a Tuesday

It's that time of the week when you get a peek inside this brain to see what it is I'm really thinking about. Scary. Truly scary.

  • First off, I caught some slack for making the Man of the Week a fictional character. As an alternative, loyal reader and commenter Ryan Norstadt suggested that the Man of the Week should have been Ben Roethlisberger. He went 14 -24 for less than 200 yards passing, 2 TD's, a pick, and he only threw the ball 5 times in the second half. All that adds up to is a quarterback that had a nice first half, but not nice enough for his coach to actually trust him when the game was on the line! If his coach can't trust him then neither can I. Short of a Hall of Fame performance in the Super Bowl, there is NO way Roethlisberger will ever be The WAD Man of the Week!

  • Speaking of that fictional Man of the Week, the first four hours of "24" have been amazing! At this point, Jack has already come back from the dead, killed the man that assassinated President Palmer, and defused a terrorist attack at an airport. Don't forget, he's been doing all this without all the resources of CTU supporting him. It's only a matter of time before he discovers that Walt is a dirt bag, finds the nerve gas, saves the day, and sleeps with Audrey and the chick from "Spin City" at the same time. He's Jack Bauer damn it!

  • Let's get back to the NFL Playoffs for a moment. I know two things for certain: 1) Steve Smith is a bad man; and 2) No way either the Panthers or the Steelers are good enough to win three straight playoff games on the road in three weeks to make the Super Bowl. Seriously, no need to even play this weekend. The Hawks and the Broncos are locks. (This, of course, all but guarantees a Steelers v. Panthers Super Bowl.)

  • Steve Smith is the best receiver in the NFL. Not much else to say about that.

  • Anybody else find themselves wondering if Emmitt Smith, Thurman Thomas, John Riggins, Barry Sanders, or any other great playoff running back you can think of would have missed nearly an entire home playoff game with a concussion? Nice work M.V.P.! Now, I understand that some concussions make you really loopy, nauseas, and down right miserable, but Shaun Alexander was hanging out on the sidelines cheering and smiling. Hell, at one point I was pretty sure I saw him smoking a cigar and dealing blackjack! Okay, that didn't happen, but I think you are picking up what I'm putting down here.

  • My buddy Colby is a HUGE Redskins fan. During the second half of Saturday's offensive clinic at Seattle, he called me and said, "I can't believe I'm saying this. I can't f***ing believe I'm saying this, but could we please put Patrick Ramsey in the game?" WOW!!! Stop, read that sentence again. Yes, the Redskins and their fans hit offensive rock bottom on Saturday.

  • Last night on the "Bachelor Paris" I was pretty sure that the line of the night was going to be the Bachelor himself uttering this gem: "The emergency room is who I am." What? Can somebody explain that to me? We get it dude, you are a doctor. Good for you buddy. You are also a dork. Anyway, I was stunned when that gem got bumped by Susan's "That night at the rose ceremony, when you looked at me, it was like lightening struck me....when I'm with you, the whole world just melts away." Really? Are you serious? Really? Okay, moving on.

  • The Hawks won again yesterday. They are now 10-26. I'm calling for a 30 win season. 20-26 the rest of the way. That's realistic. Right?

  • Did anybody else know that Florida was ranked #2 in the college basketball polls? I had no idea. This could be pretty exciting. If UF keeps this up, they very well could be the first #1 seed to lose to a #16 in the NCAA tournament. You just know Billy Donovan has it in him to pull off such an astounding feat. Unless Teddy Dupay can crawl out of the sports book long enough to come down and take a cheap shot on the other team's best player, I think it could happen! Isn't it funny how one solitary moment can define a program in your eyes? For UF basketball, that moment was undoubtedly Dupay flagrantly stepping on Matean Cleaves's ankle in the national title game. What a dirt ball! What a dirt ball program! What a dirt ball coach!

  • Finally, make use of your TIVO or DVR tonight as you have an all new episode of "Boston Legal" on ABC at 10, and you have the series premier of Tom Cavanaugh's new show "Love Monkey" on CBS at 10. Let's look alive out there people. I don't want anybody missing any quality television. Not on my watch.

Monday, January 16, 2006 

Observing the Holiday

Since today is a National holiday, I've decided that The WAD will also take the day off. To be honest with you, I'm still not thinking rationally after the absurd events in Indy yesterday coupled with the electrifying season premier of "24" last night. I need some time to process everything.

On a serious note, seeing as how today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day I'm providing a link to Dr. King's legendary "I Have a Dream" speech. I always take the time to read it or listen to it on this day every year. It's a message that still resonates, and if you take the time to listen to it I'm sure you will find it time well spent.


Enjoy the Holiday, and it will be back to business as usual tomorrow.

Friday, January 13, 2006 

Weekend Preview

First off this morning, I've got to get a couple of house cleaning things out of the way. First, there were a lot of great entries in yesterday afternoon's caption contest. Most of the entries seemed to center on the theme of J.J. Reddick's homosexuality. Until yesterday, I had no idea he was a homosexual. Thanks for educating me everyone. You would have thought that in this "Will and Grace" world he would have felt comfortable coming out. Maybe he can find the strength in your words. Anyway, it was so much fun that Robbie and I talked, and at his suggestion, I'm going to try to do a "caption contest" once a week. So, if you see any worthy pictures on the web send them my way. By the way, I didn't decide on a winner for yesterday's contest because the prize was going to be an hour of "Dunn love", but no chicks entered. Therefore, no prize.

The second thing to get out of the way this morning is to sadly tell you all that I didn't watch "The O.C." last night! I know it's shocking and your world might be turned upside down right now, but don't you worry. I've got it saved on DVR, and the first order of business after work today is to partake of the guilty pleasures of Newport Beach. The truth is that I started watching it with Hans, then I got a phone call I had been expecting, and like any good friend, I made a sacrifice and told Hans to go on watching without me. The lesson is that some things are bigger than you, and "The O.C." is one of them. I couldn't let my obligations stand in the way of Hans's fulfillment. Our friendship is no doubt stronger for it. I'm sure you understand. Although I didn't get to watch "The O.C.", I did watch season premiere of "Beauty and the Geek II." All I can say is WOW! I didn't see any of the first season, but I definitely have a new mandatory T.V. slot with this show. It's phenomenal, and you can expect to hear much more about it in the weeks to come.

Alright, with the house keeping out of the way, let's move on to some very brief analysis of this weekend's NFL Playoffs. Why brief? Because, at this point in the season, if it's not obvious on it's face, you should probably stay away!

Washington +9.5 @ Seattle
Let's see here, the last time the Hawks were in the playoffs didn't Matt Hasselback declare "we'll take the ball, and we are going to score"? Did they score? Oh that's right, I believe Matt threw a pick that went back to the house. Wait a minute, I'm sorry. That wasn't their last playoff loss. I completly forgot that they lost to the 8-8 Rams in last year's Wild Card round. Funny thing about those Rams was that they won a total of 9 games last year, and three of those games were against the Seahawks. That being said, the Skins haven't been in the playoffs since the Clinton administration so they don't have much of a better recent track record. Really, other than Joe Gibbs's Three Super Bowl rings and 17-5 career post season record, we don't have much to go on here. Well, that's enough for me. The Skins may lose, but they won't get blown out, and losing by 10 points in the playoffs is getting blown out.

New England +3 @ Denver
Who do you trust, Tom Brady or Jake Plummer? If that's not enough, over the past two years, the Pats have won two Super Bowls, and the Broncos have made two playoff appearances losing by a combined score of 90 - 34. How in the world could you go against the Pats here?

Indy -9.5 v. Pittsburgh
Who knows how the Colts are going to come out in this one? Has a team ever gone from being so high to so low at the end of a season before? You just don't know how they are going to react. If they are hitting on all cylinders in the Dome, however, they will destroy the Steelers. Remember that stat about the Broncos above? Did I mention that those two losses came at the hands of the Colts in Indianapolis? In short, they may come out flat and distracted, but if they are on their game, you don't want to be on the wrong side of this one.

Carolina +3 @ Chicago
I still refuse to pick the Bears. Hopefully I will never have to see the 2005 Bears again after this week. If they do win, I will pick against them next week. If they win next week, I will pick against them in the Super Bowl. If they win the Super Bowl, I will never watch the NFL again. Seems reasonable doesn't it?

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Thursday, January 12, 2006 

Caption Contest

Robbie sent me this picture and I couldn't resist putting it up. Everybody needs to what they think the different people in the photo were thinking at the very moment this picture was taken. I'll give a prize to whoever writes the funniest stuff:

Here's mine:

Reddick: Suck on this Terps. I'm the f***ing man!

Sheldon: Oh no! Please God, NO! He's never going to shut up about this!

Bug Eyed Cameron Crazy just to the left of the 2 on Sheldon's jersey: Oh God! This is it! The greatest moment of my life at Duke! I can't wait to tell everybody at the Asian Student Dance about this!

Face Painted Cameron Crazy just to the right of Reddick's left knee: Oh man, look at those legs. Fly J.J.! Fly! I freaking love you J.J.!


Hot Routes

There are three things I want to address today, but none of these three things warrants its own column/entry/post (Could we come to a consensus on what we call these things?). Therefore, I am going to do a sort of hybrid between what has become known as "Monday Musings" and a regular column/entry/post. The result is "Hot Routes", or in other words, quick hitter thoughts on some relevant events. Let's see how this goes.

1) Dave Braine's Resignation as Georgia Tech A.D.
First and foremost, what I'm not going to do is write about my personal feelings toward Dave Braine. Those of you who know me know that I was fortunate enough to work for Coach Cremins, a man I revere like few others, in college, but you also know that through that experience I developed very strong opinions about Dave Braine. None of that matters now. What does matter is how we proceed from here.

The one thing that everyone can agree on about Dave Braine is that he was a polarizing and divisive figure. It seems that Tech folks were either die hard supporters of Braine, or staunchly against him. I won't go through the litany of events that evidence this polarization, but I'm sure you won't have to think too hard to come up with them yourselves. I have to believe that divisiveness was, of course, never his intention, but it certainly did become a reality. At some schools this may not have been as big a deal as it has been at Tech, but Tech is different than most other big time NCAA schools. In a State where Tech is constantly pushed to the back burner by the major newspapers, television networks, and until the advent of Tech's relationship with 790 The Zone, the local radio stations, Tech fans have always stuck together in a family like environment. The unique thing about Tech compared to most other major college athletic programs is that the vast majority of our fan base are alumni, the children of alumni, the parents of alumni, or people that have some other deep connection to the school. People aren't Tech fans because they can buy a Tech hat in the local gas station or because the AJC tells them to be. In other words, Tech fans have always had a real bond. The Braine era has undoubtedly fractured that bond, and if we are going to move forward and succeed, the first order of business will be to heal that fracture.

If you look at today's AJC you can find a list of candidates to replace Braine. Everybody on the list appears to be uniquely qualified. Two candidates, however, stand out over the others as being especially qualified to bring Tech fans back together and get to the business of pushing our athletic programs (i.e. football and basketball - the other sports are great, but let's not kid each other, at the end of the day, a program is judged by the big two) to the next level. I'm referring to Coach Curry and Todd Stansbury. Both of these men have strong Tech roots and understand what it means to be part of the Tech family. Who knows what President Clough will ultimately decide, but in my opinion he's got two very solid choices on his list, and I hope he goes with one of them so we can transform ourselves back from just a bunch of Tech fans to the Tech Family.

2) Duke might be unbeatable
My buddy Joseph is a Duke grad, and he left me a message yesterday expressing his nervousness about last night's game against Maryland. His nervousness was well founded as Maryland has been a thorn in Duke's side for the past several years. Suffice it to say, by the end of 40 minutes last night, J.J. Reddick's 27 points and Sheldon Williams triple double had erased any nervousness. I know we went down this road with the Colts recently, but you have to start thinking about the possibility of the Blue Devils becoming the first NCAA Division I team to go undefeated since the 1976 Indiana Hoosiers. The fact of the matter is that the Devils will certainly be favored in every game they play the remainder of the season, they have the most prolific scorer this side of Spokane, and they have the rarest of all commodities in college basketball, a seasoned big man that is actually an offensive asset. Oh, I almost forgot, they also have the greatest coach in the history of the game. History, of course, tells us that Duke will slip up somewhere. Maybe it will be on the road against B.C., Carolina, Tech, or maybe the Terps will muster up enough pride at home on February 11 to play spoiler. Only time will tell whether Duke can chase down history. All I know for certain is that with this apparently being a down year for the ACC (in relative terms of course), and with a team led by two seniors, Duke's got a real legit chance to run the table. Keep your eyes on this, because it could get real interesting come March.

3) Baylor
I have to admit that I didn't even know until last night that the NCAA had taken away Baylor's out of conference basketball games this year as punishment for the murder/drug/cover-up/CSI Waco scandal that took place a few years ago. I don't have much to say about this other than it's another example of the absurdity of the NCAA's enforcement powers. What does taking away half a season from this year's players, coaches, and students accomplish? Not to mention that this punishes the small schools that would have gotten a nice check from Baylor to come to Waco for early season games. How does that punish the people that behaved so atrociously and brought such embarrassment to the University? The answer is that it does nothing. It's just another example of the NCAA punishing the innocent for the crimes of the guilty. I have a ton of suggestions for how the NCAA could correct some of it's greatest flaws, but they are too numerous to get into today. Maybe I'll dedicate an entire column/entry/post to this one day.

Check back tomorrow for a breakdown of this weekend's NFL Conference Semi Finals. I can feel the excitement of all the gamblers out there that are just down right giddy about the chance to bet against Jake Plummer in the playoffs! Oh, by the way, I can almost guarantee that tomorrow I will have something to say about the return of the the lost, but not forgotten, Kaitlin Cooper to the O.C. I'm so excited about this that I honestly can't concentrate on work. What's next? Are Theresa and Ryan's kid going to come back to Newport? See, I bet you forgot that Ryan has a kid living here in Atlanta. Come on people, put on your game face, The O.C. is attempting to mount a comback starting tonight!!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 

Mailing it In

In case you haven't noticed, once in a while, I have a day here on "The WAD" where I just provide you with links to other interesting sites on the Internet. These days are usually when I have either a) slept in; b) am utterly slammed at the office; or c) just can't think of much to say (hey, it's not always easy coming up with stuff). In other words, these are days when I just mail it in. Today, my friends, happens to be one of those days. So, here are a few links to amusing or interesting sites that have been forwarded to me recently:

1) www.onepeat.com
This is just funny. You know, it is interesting how nobody, myself included, ever bothered to mention that USC had only won one "BCS" national title going into this year's Rose Bowl. This was originally sent to me by my buddy and old law school roommate, Mike Vines. I, however, forwarded it to my buddy Ben Prevost, an LSU booster, and he is considering donating his next paycheck.

Yes, Britney Spears married this guy, and yes, this is the worst rap song of all time.

3) http://www.11alive.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=74428
It's been rumored for a while now, but it finally looks like the Dave Braine tenure at Georgia Tech is over.

Like the degenerates we are, we have been having a lot of fun with the Marcus Vick and Maurice Clarrett stories lately, but this is a very interesting column by one of the best college football writers in the country on the downfall of these two guys. Certainly worth a read.

5) http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?ortp=1&TP=U&uid=%2bAHudm4yKCBUg0r4Hf0ojA%3d%3d&lid=21
This is how far I will go for the entertainment of my readers. This is my online dating profile. Let the jokes begin!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006 

And The Winner Is...

As promised, today I’m handing out some hardware. Despite my intense desire to discuss in detail the complete meltdown by Allie, the oncologist from Delray Beach, last night on the season premier of “The Bachelor Paris”, I’m going to stick to the game plan. I, however, reserve the right to return to the topic of Bachelor at my own discretion. Anyway, below are my 19 NFL post season awards. Instead of putting together the standard boring list of awards like “MVP”, “Offensive Player of the Year”, etc…, I decided to once again borrow from the great Bill Simmons and hand out my post season awards in the form of some of my favorite movie quotes. So, here you go…

1) Harry Hogge: All right. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.
Cole Trickle: Hit the pace car?
Harry Hogge: Hit the pace car.
Cole Trickle: What for?
Harry Hogge: Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect.

This great exchange from the modern classic “Days of Thunder” goes out to Falcons quarterback Mike Vick. With less than 2,500 yards passing, 15 T.D.’s, 13 interceptions, and a passer rating of only 73.1 it’s safe to say that Starship #7 was hitting most everything but his targets this year. On the bright side, he’s not his brother.

2) “Going in one more round when you don't think you can - that's what makes all the difference in your life.”

This poignant quote from Rocky before he fought Drago in Rocky IV goes to Teddy Bruschi. Love the Pats or hate them, you can’t help but be inspired by Bruschi.

3) “Is this it? That's what it's all about, Manny? Eating, drinking, f*ing, sucking? Snorting? Then what? You're 50. You got a bag for a belly. You got t*ts, you need a bra. They got hair on them. You got a liver, they got spots on it, and you're eating this f*in' shit, looking like these rich f*king mummies in here... Look at that.” - Tony Montana to Manny in “Scarface”

This one goes to Daunte Culpepper. First the Love Boat scandal, then shredding his knee to pieces, then the indictment! Am I the only one that thinks Daunte is just beginning his descent to rock bottom? It’s going to take a superhuman effort for Daunte to avoid spiraling out of control faster than Manny did.

4) “You and Dawson, you both live in the same dreamworld. It doesn't matter what I believe. It only matters what I can prove. So don't tell me what I know, or don't know. I know the LAW” – Lt. Kaffee to Commander Galloway in “A Few Good Men”

This quote goes to the San Diego Chargers. For 16 weeks, no matter what, I was convinced that the Chargers were one of the best teams in the NFL. I mean, I just knew it. Unfortunately, the Chargers just couldn’t prove it.

5) Doughboy: I heard you like Mr. JQ Smooth now.
Tre Styles: Yeah, I get a discount on clothes. How do I look?
Doughboy: You look like you selling rocks.

This exchange from “Boyz N the Hood”, of course, goes to Michael Irvin. Any

6) “You're gonna listen to me? To something I said? Hasn't it become abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit?” – Brodie to T.S. in “Mallrats”

And the winner is Lions’ GM Matt Millen. We’ve all known Matt for a long time as a player and as a GM. He really does seem like one of the good guys, but sometimes the truth is so obvious that you just can’t avoid it, and the truth is that Matt Millen don’t know shit.

7) “Oh, he's a monster. Pure psychopath. So rare to capture one alive. From a research point of view, Lecter is our most prized asset.” – Dr. Fredrick Chilton talking about Dr. Lecter in “Silence of the Lambs.”

This one is for you T.O. I’m done trying to figure you out. At the end of the day, some people are just out of their mind!

8) “Look, mister, there's... two kinds of dumb, uh... guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, uh, guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don't matter, the second one you're kinda forced to deal with.” - George to Coach Dale in “Hoosiers”

Speaking of T.O., this quote from the greatest sports movie ever made goes to T.O.’s friend, agent, and fellow psychopath, Drew Rosenhaus. You know, Drew pulled his crap all over the NFL for a few years until the Eagles decided that it was time to take a stand and ruin him. What’s the over/under on how many new clients Drew signs up before this year’s draft?

9) “That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous” – Maverick to Ice Man in “Top Gun”

This quote goes to Peyton Manning not because it featured the incredibly homoerotic bite between the “Ice” and “man”. Instead, Peyton gets this honor because, just like Maverick, you probably wouldn’t choose anybody else to put in the pilot’s seat, but you still get the feeling that he is only one mistake away from a complete and utter melt down. I guess we’ll find out if this is finally the year that Peyton gets lifted in the arms of his teammates like Maverick, or if he just bangs his head against the canopy again like Goose.

10) “Look, it's either me or them. You're gettin' f*ed one way or the other.” – Vincent Gambini in “My Cousin Vinny”

This goes out to the Cleveland Browns. When your choice at quarterback is Trent Dilfer or Charlie Frye, well, I really don’t know what else to say.

11) “Now go home and get your f***ing shine box” - Billy Batts to Tommy in “Goodfellas”

This goes to the Bengals. You can win 11 games, you can have a star quarterback, a superstar wide receiver, a home game in the playoffs, and a funny little music video, but at the end of the day you can’t escape the horrible truth that you are nothing more than the f***ing BENGALS.

12) “That guy's a f***in' asshole. Anybody who talks to that asshole is a f***in' asshole.” – Dave Moss in “Glenngarry Glen Ross”

This one goes to the New York Giants and their coach Tom Coughlin. When one of the most likeable and media savvy guys in the NFL like Tikki Barber calls you out, you must be an ass hole!

13) Pumpkin: Which one is your wallet?
Jules: It's the one that says Bad Motherf***er.

This exchange from “Pulp Fiction” is shared by Santana Moss and Steve Smith because, despite their size, these two guys undoubtedly left nearly every DB they faced mumbling one thing to themselves, “that’s one bad motherf***er!”

14) “I wanna dance!” – Mike in “Dazed and Confused”

Okay, so I just crapped all over his team, but nobody can deny that Chad Johnson has got moves. If you try to tell me that you didn’t look forward to Chad’s touchdown celebrations, you are lying.

15) “If we get caught, we're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.” – Michael Bolton to Samir in “Office Space”

Good luck with those federal gun chargers Sean Taylor.

16) “Well you take it, right in the ass you scumbag c***sucker” – Gordon Gekko to Bud Fox in “Wallstreet”

This quote goes out to Daute Culpepper, Donovan McNabb, Deuce McCallister, Priest Holmes, Tony Gonzalez, Jamal Lewis, Randy Moss, T.O, Brandon Stokely, Drew Bennett,, Ahman Greene, Brian Westbrook, Pro-Bowler Mike Vick, and Marc Bulger from all the fantasy owners that saw their seasons destroyed by your injuries or your ineptitude.

17) “I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him - sometimes he was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Andy - that was his routine.” – Red from “Shawshank Redemption”

As if I had to tell you, this one goes to Jamal Lewis. It’s probably best if I just leave it at that.

18) “Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.” – Mike McD from “Rounders”

This goes to Jim Haslett. Only a man with no awareness of his surroundings or himself would have demanded a contract extension in Jim Haslett’s position. Some people say that he was merely trying to force the hand of Tom Benson and the Saints, but I think that is just giving this guy too much credit.

19) “We always have to be in the middle of the action 'cause we're the warriors. And without some challenge, without some damn war to fight then the warriors might as well be dead, Stallion.” – Apollo to Rocky before fighting Drago in “Rocky IV”

This one goes to Brett Favre. Just like Apollo, we all love Favre, and just like Apollo, we know why he’s still out there, but just like Apollo, we all know it’s time to hang it up. After all, it didn’t end so well for Apollo did it?

Well, there are my 19 post season awards in the form of some of my favorite movie quotes. I hope everyone enjoys them, and I also hope everyone takes the time to add to the list!

Weekly Top 7

All-Time Top 7 Sports Movies

7) Kingpin - "The world can really kick your ass. I only have a vague recollection of when it wasn't kickin' mine" - Roy Munson

6) Caddyshack - "Don't sell yourself short Judge. You're a tremendous slouch." - Ty Webb

5) Major League - "Want me to drag him outta here, kick the shit out of him?" - Rick Vaugh

4) Eight Men Out - "Say it ain't so Joe. Say it ain't so." - Pee Wee

3) Rocky - "If I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood." - Rocky Balboa

2) The Natural - "I coulda been better. I coulda broke every record in the book." - Roy Hobbs


1) Hoosiers - "My team's on the floor!" - Coach Dale


Getting this Laker team into the playoffs is the best coaching job Phil has ever done. Now he can list "The WAD" Man of the Week right next to his 9 rings on his list of accomplishments. Is there any reason for him to keep going?

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