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Wednesday, April 19, 2006 

One More Day...

My apologies for another day without a new column. No, I haven't been abducted by Vito, and there is no truth to the rumor that I am being tortured by Jack Bauer. Just a bunch of work and very little sleep this week. I did manage to hear that A.I. and Chris Webber both showed up after the tip last night. That's tremendous. Things seem to be going very well in Philly this year. Maybe the Sixers should sign T.O. to turn things around? At any rate, talk amongst yourselves for one more day, and I'll be back on Thursday.

It's time for Phil Jackson to move over as the WAD man of the week. Any time a white American guy sets a world record in the marathon, he is automatically WAD MOTW.

http://www.boston.com/sports/specials/marathon/articles/2006/04/18/record_setter_warren_had_a_ball_with_this_one/

Has Larry Brown lost all credibility at this point? The guy can't coach because of ACID REFLUX? How the hell can you tell a player to get on the court with a real injury when acid reflux is too much to handle on the bench?

As for our fantasy league, we're all where no woman wants to be: under the WAD.

Under the Wad, isn't that a Chili Peppers song?

I nominate the Wad to take Scott McClellan's now vacant position. He could conduct press conferences in cheeto-covered sweatpants while scratching himself and spitting in a plastic bottle. I'm sure the answers to Helen Thomas would be even more entertaining.

Hahaha, that would be awesome!

I can see all of his answers going something like this: "No bitch, I don't care what your 'research,' 'science,' or 'facts' say; the President is right because he's George Motherfuckin Bush! Next question."

Either that, or he'd go off on a tangent with something like this:

"OK, enough stupid questions from the treehuggers. I want to talk about my weekend. Did you see (insert chick name here) on the OC? She's so hot. I'd (blank) the (blank) out of her (blank). And the Bachelor was so stupid, why does he pick the normal girl when he could have taken the chick that is obviously a freak in the sack? Oh, and if these tv shows didn't completely ruin my weekend, I lost a 5 game parlay on the Colts game. (blank) Peyton Manning, that inbred (blank)! I'm outta here, I gotta go take my midday dump and then a nap."

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Weekly Top 7

All-Time Top 7 Sports Movies

7) Kingpin - "The world can really kick your ass. I only have a vague recollection of when it wasn't kickin' mine" - Roy Munson

6) Caddyshack - "Don't sell yourself short Judge. You're a tremendous slouch." - Ty Webb

5) Major League - "Want me to drag him outta here, kick the shit out of him?" - Rick Vaugh

4) Eight Men Out - "Say it ain't so Joe. Say it ain't so." - Pee Wee

3) Rocky - "If I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood." - Rocky Balboa

2) The Natural - "I coulda been better. I coulda broke every record in the book." - Roy Hobbs

AND...

1) Hoosiers - "My team's on the floor!" - Coach Dale

MAN OF THE WEEK


Getting this Laker team into the playoffs is the best coaching job Phil has ever done. Now he can list "The WAD" Man of the Week right next to his 9 rings on his list of accomplishments. Is there any reason for him to keep going?

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  • I'm The WAD
  • From Atlanta, Georgia, United States
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