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Friday, April 21, 2006 

Television Friday?

It’s been a long week, and I haven’t even had a chance to weigh in on the latest developments in my favorite television shows. It’s Friday, however, and I know you are expecting a preview of the big sporting events coming up this weekend. Well, even though the NBA playoffs start this weekend, I’m not going to pretend that you are interested in the first round of the NBA playoffs. I guess there are some passions we just don’t share. Don’t get too comfortable though. You won’t be so lucky as the playoffs grind on. At any rate, other than the NBA Playoffs, there just isn’t much compelling about this weekend’s sports action. And, considering that I finally had a chance to catch up on my t.v. watching, I see no choice but to turn this into Television Friday. Doesn’t quite have the same ring as Television Tuesday, but it’s going to have to do.

“The Sopranos”

This might make me a bad person, and it certainly makes me politically incorrect, but it’s got to be said: this storyline revolving around Vito’s homosexuality is hilarious. I mean, some of the comments (which are better not repeated here) made in this past week’s episode were priceless. Hell, Carmella used a few words I’ve never heard of. And, Tony’s session with Dr. Melfi was unbelievable. When he essentially broke into song, I was close to coughing up a lung. Only on “The Sopranos” can such drama unfold with such a sense of comedy. Just another example of why we’ve never seen another show like this one, and we probably never will again. Will Vito get whacked? Will Tony forbid it and incense Paulie and all the Captains in the process? Is this the start of the great conflict everybody is waiting for?


Hans warned me that at some point in viewing this week’s episode that I would ask myself, “what the f**k is Jack doing?” Well, he was right. I’m still so enraged, shocked, and utterly confused that Jack gave up the recording to save Audrey’s life that I can’t even string together any rational thoughts about it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Jack is still the biggest bad ass in the history of television, but he’s just getting a little too soft. The old Jack would have sat there and watched Audrey bleed to death before he gave up that recording. I miss the old Jack. Only six more hours for Jack to expose Logan, capture Henderson, save Secretary Heller’s job, save Audrey’s life and profess his undying love for her, find and save Aaron Pierce; and surely he will have to deal with the Chinese government at some point. Impossible for a mere mortal, but Jack should be able to do this all without breaking a sweat. As long as he saves time to hang out with his daughter, I’ll be happy.

“The O.C.”

I only bring up “The O.C.” to say that I’m done. It’s over. I just can’t take any more. I spent an entire season dealing with the most ridiculous case of substance abuse on television since Jessie Spano’s addiction to speed, and I’m not about to deal with it again. The moment Kirsten put that glass of wine to her lips, I jumped overboard. I’m not happy about this. This show has brought me a lot of great times, but it’s the end of the road. The juice is no longer worth the squeeze. I, of course, reserve the right to change my mind next Thursday. Anybody want to put odds on that one?

MIAMI (Reuters) - A 76-year-old man claiming to be a doctor went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams, and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, police said on Thursday.

One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

The woman then phoned the Broward County Sheriff's Office and the suspect fled. He was arrested at another woman's apartment in the same Lauderdale Lakes neighborhood on Wednesday, a sheriff's spokesman said.

The white-haired suspect, Philip Winikoff, carried a black bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.

"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," sheriff's spokesman Hugh Graf said in a statement.

At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.

Winikoff was not a doctor, Graf said. He worked as a shuttle driver for an auto dealership.



Also check out this dumbass:


Stat - I'll say hey to Jim Rome for you tonight...I'm seeing Frank Caliendo tonight...

I lost my Jim Rome autographed picture where he signed, "Ryan, have a take, don't suck, Jim Rome, OUT". I think the Wad stole it from 498. It's ok because I snagged the koosh hoop, biatch!

I'm in LA this weekend, go Clips. Holy shit, I can't believe they're in the playoffs!

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Weekly Top 7

All-Time Top 7 Sports Movies

7) Kingpin - "The world can really kick your ass. I only have a vague recollection of when it wasn't kickin' mine" - Roy Munson

6) Caddyshack - "Don't sell yourself short Judge. You're a tremendous slouch." - Ty Webb

5) Major League - "Want me to drag him outta here, kick the shit out of him?" - Rick Vaugh

4) Eight Men Out - "Say it ain't so Joe. Say it ain't so." - Pee Wee

3) Rocky - "If I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood." - Rocky Balboa

2) The Natural - "I coulda been better. I coulda broke every record in the book." - Roy Hobbs


1) Hoosiers - "My team's on the floor!" - Coach Dale


Getting this Laker team into the playoffs is the best coaching job Phil has ever done. Now he can list "The WAD" Man of the Week right next to his 9 rings on his list of accomplishments. Is there any reason for him to keep going?

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